ProudToBeKinky Podcast

Welcome to the #ProudToBeKinky Podcast where we discuss the social and interpersonal side of kink, BDSM, fetish and alternative sexualities. We know it's scary, getting out there and trying to meet a like-minded kinky partner. “What if my friends find out?”, “What will people at work say?” Well you know what... it IS possible and we know because we did it. Now we share our adventures with you. We're not here to gossip... we just want to spread positivity and share with you what worked for us. Helping you in your endeavour to find a dom, sub, play-partner, top, bottom, boyfriend, girlfriend or even just some friends with the same consensual fetishes as you. Please enjoy #ProudToBeKinky.
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Jun 23, 2017
Shibari is back! We know we may have mentioned it once or twice before, however we have got a wonderful guest in the lovely Sophia.Shibari who is an all round rope enthusiast. We have been long time followers of her Instagram account, and when we saw her perform a self suspension at the SlapStick Club (listen to episode 23 for more on that) we decided to reach out and see if she would like to come and chat with us, and to our delight she said yes. Sophia is not only a rope model, but also a rigger, she also teaches and facilitates rope jams at Anatomie Studio in London. Which if you ever get a chance to go to is well worth a visit. Anatomie Studio is a dedicated rope space, that not only offer tuition in rope, but also a wide range of other classes and opportunities. We do discuss this lots more within this episode. We talk to Sophia about what led her to joining the rope community, and as is often the case we end up discussing why we love it here at #ProudToBeKinky. We make a great case for how awesome the rope scene is and why anyone who is curious about rope should definitely give it a try. Floss marvels at how effortless Sophia makes self-suspension look and she tells us a little bit about her self-suspension performances, and how she finds the experience of tying herself. We also delve into how she got into the rigging side of rope, and how she developed the skills she has honed so beautifully. On the practical side of things we ask Sophia the following things:
  • What is her advice for anyone wanting to get into Shibari?
  • What conversations should people be having before they tie together?
  • What are her favourites ties as a rope model?
As always you can reach us on hello [at] if you have any comments on this episode, or any queries about the podcast or kink in general. Don’t forget you can also follow us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and Fetlife. We love hearing from people who are listening so please do reach out if you are a listener following us on any of these platforms. You can also check us out on Patreon, As if is an NSFW account you will need to follow the link to find us, we won’t show up in a Patreon search. Our new spin-off podcast ‘FemDom and Fetish Fun’ is going to be a Patron only reward as of episode 2, Floss is now sharing weekly Patron only posts and we are currently conspiring to come up with lots more awesome rewards. Don’t forget to check out our sister podcasts from the Podcast Jukebox Network, Off The Cuffs, Parking Lot Radio, the Will Sean Podcast and our new addition Drinks With God. You’re probably sick of me saying but if you're listening on iTunes (Apple Podcast App) please do leave a review, they make a huge difference to whether or not some people will be willing to take a punt on a new podcast. You can find Sophia on Instagram under sophia.shibari and you can find out more about Anatomie via their website
Jun 17, 2017
Polyamory and Ethical Non-Monogamy is this weeks focus, as Bakji and Floss are joined by the wonderful Page Turner from the website Poly.Land and also author of a new book Poly Land: My Brutally Honest Adventures in Polyamory. We stumbled across Page via Fetlife, when Floss came across her post Homing Pigeon Primary:Good Things Are Hard To Screw Up which was cross-posted from the Poly.Land blog. Since then Floss has been an avid reader of Poly.Land, and was very keen to give Page’s book a read once it was released. Polyamory is hard to miss as a lifestyle choice and subject matter when you join the kink scene, there is a fairly sizeable amount of kinky people who are either polyamorous, or have some kind of ethical non-monogamous activity within their relationships. With that in mind it has been important to cover polyamory at some point, finding the right people to discuss certain topics is important though, so we were delighted when Page said she would be happy to come and chat with us for an episode.   We cover some general things with Page like what inspired her to start her blog and how that progressed into her book. Also on a more personal level we discuss how she got into polyamory in the beginning and how she has navigated to the point she is at now.   Other topics we cover are some poly top-tips, and some useful resources, (other than Page’s own blog and book), which are recommended for people who are interested in exploring polyamory, or even just starting a conversation about potentially opening up. Some of the resources we mention are:     We also touch upon the controversial question of can you learn to be poly or must it be our natural leanings, parting ways gracefully. the beauty of compersion and meeting Stephen King. Bakji also tries to make quick fire questions poly related, which doesn’t really work, but we try and roll with it anyway.   Our email is, and you are welcome to use that for podcast comments or questions, or even just general kink related questions if you think we can be of assistance. You can also follow us on Instagram, Twitter, Fetlife and Facebook.   If you have listened to all of the #ProudToBeKinky episodes and are looking for new podcasts to check out, then please tune in to some of the other podcasts in the Podcast Jukebox Network; Off the Cuffs, Parking Lot Radio, the Will Sean Podcast and Drinks With God. We all appreciate lovely reviews being left for us too if you listen on iTunes.
Jun 9, 2017

Kinky paraphernalia is the topic of this week’s episode. As Bakji and Floss go it alone without a guest, to discuss all their favourite and most used items for their BDSM shenanigans.


Before I go on though, make sure you listen until the very end of the episode because we make a new and exciting announcement, which you will not want to miss.


Onto the content of the episode. We cover money savings tips and how to find good deals and discounts. Floss pimps Lovehoney so much that it’s probably impossible to convince you that she doesn’t work them, unfortunately we do not get any commission from you guys going their. Just the satisfaction of knowing you got a great deal and some sexy fun.


However, if you’re on a budget, or just fancy being creative, we also tackle ‘Make Your Own’ and ‘Vanilla Repurposing’. We had to take to Whatsapp to pick our friends brains for this one, because a) neither of us are that crafty and b) we use all our imagination on this podcast. So big shout out to our lovely friends for their awesome ideas.


It’s fair to say most people love a bargain, and not many of us want to pay more than is necessary for a product. Which is why we at #ProudToBeKinky are big fans of ‘Cheap but Good’, things we bought for a great price but do a great job, and even in some cases outshine their more expensive counterpart. Unfortunately the flip side to that is ‘Cheap but Shite’, classy name we know, but we go down that road too. Positivity is our main aim though, so we also let you know what is expensive and worth every penny. Hint, it’s Latex.


Some companies we give shoutouts too, and always recommend are:



If we didn’t cover something in this episode, but you are curious where you can buy something, or wonder if we have any recommendations then please do send us a message and we can do what we can to assist you. Our email as ever is, and we love getting your emails so do not hesitate if you are thinking of writing in. If email isn't your thing, but you do want to get a bit involved with the podcast you can follow us on Instagram, Twitter, Fetlife and Facebook.


Big shoutout as ever to our sister podcasts within the Podcast Jukebox Network. Off The Cuffs, the Will Sean Podcast and Parking Lot Radio. All worth a listen and all available on most podcast apps, and don’t forget if you listen to any of us on iTunes (Apple Podcast App) please do leave a review, they make all the difference in letting new listeners know whether or not to take a chance on listening to an as yet unheard podcast.

Jun 1, 2017

Cross-dresser. Transvestite. Gender-Fluid. Transgender. BiGender. Just a few of the words that come up in this episode. They may not mean to you what they mean to our guest, and every approach is valid when someone identifies with any or all of those words. The words we have at our disposal to describe ourselves can be key in our acceptance of who we are. Being able to successfully put across  to others, where we fall on the spectrum of gender can sometimes also be key to their understanding of who we are. Allowing for more open and beneficial conversations.

[caption id="attachment_1377" align="aligncenter" width="300"]Crossdressing and Being Gender Fluid Crossdressing and Being Gender Fluid[/caption]  

Our guest for this episode presents as both male and female. George when presenting as male, and Georgie when presenting as female. When we met it was a day for she and her pronouns, despite Bakji’s accidental faux pas of ‘we are joined with a chap named George’ right at the beginning of our interview. Luckily we were talking to a very open, lovely and level-headed individual who understands these things happen. If you would like to follow George on Twitter you can do so via @georgemitton.

Part of why we were keen to invite George onto the podcast is that he is completely open with everyone in his life about his Gender-Fluid orientation. Including family, friends and colleagues. With many aspects of BDSM and alternative lifestyles of all types the decision about whether or not to be open is a really big one. So speaking to someone who has been through it was an interesting experience.

We asked Georgie how and when she discover this side of herself, and how it integrated into her life in both the earlier days, and up to and including the present day. This includes some success stories of sharing with others, and periods of time where George was pushed to the forefront, and the fluidity of gender was not as present.

Overall though this is an immensely positive episode, we discuss how we can best approach telling people about the aspect of yourself you have yet to share with them, in this case being Gender-Fluid, but it could equally apply to other situations. We also cover women (and of course men) who not only support men who identify in these ways, but are also actively attracted to them.

Make-up, clothes, prosthetic boobs and wigs also come up in conversation, as we ask Georgie where some good places to shop are, and what key pieces she finds most useful. Likewise we enquire as to what kind of events are available, for once you are all dressed up and want to get together with some like minded folk. Obviously as always you can hit Fetlife and the usual Fetish events and munches that we recommend, but we actually do discover some new events through talking to Georgie. 

If any of what we talk about in this episode resonates with you, but you still have questions or any comments then please do get in touch. You can email us via You can also get in touch through any one of our social media accounts, we are on Instagram, Twitter, Fetlife and Facebook. All messages are welcome. 

We are also proud to be part of the Podcast Jukebox Network. If you haven’t already please check out, Off The Cuffs: a kink and BDSM podcast, Parking Lot Radio and the Will Sean Podcast. If you listen to any of us on iTunes/Apple podcast app, please do leave us a review, they really are invaluable for helping other find the podcasts you enjoy.

You can also support us on Patreon, any support will go towards growing the podcast so we can reach more people, speak to more guests and generally make #ProudToBeKinky the best damn podcast it can be.

May 26, 2017
Kinkster and Author Nookie Notes joins Bakji and Floss in this episode to discuss Female Led Relationships and her new website Part of what makes the kink community great is people with good insights on relationships and people who are will to present the community with new ideas and opportunities. Having followed Nookie Notes on Fetlife for some times and finding myself continuously loving lots of her writing, I thought why not invite her on the podcast. There were quite a few technical issues to overcome with this episode, the first time a Skype session has ever given is this much trouble, so please do bear with the episode even if there is the odd drop in sound.   Once we got chatting though we had a brilliant discussion chatting with Nookie Notes. We asked her about her writing, which you can find via her Fetlife account, she has also written a fair few books which you can find on amazon. Her books are predominantly about Female Led Relationships, with her erotica containing a good dose of cuckolding. While her Fetlife writings cover a wide range of subjects including consent, feelings, orgasms and much more.   We were very interested to discuss Nookie’s take on FLR’s and what they involve and how they relate to Kink, or if indeed they need to be related at all. Here at ProudToBeKinky we are big FemDom fans, not sure if anyone has ever noticed that, but FLR’s are different in and of themselves, so it was interested to hear where the similarities and differences lay.   As the podcast that likes to discuss the social side of kink we couldn’t have Nookie on without asking about the dating website she has created, She told us all about how she came to the decision to start a dating website, and how it has been developing over the last  6 months. We are really excited to see how this pans out in the future, and hopefully hear lots of great success stories of people finding great matches through it.   Quick fire questions return, as does out nosiness about what our guest is doing at the weekend, and as always there a fair few tangents that uncover some interesting topics of conversation, bidets and toilet roll included.   Regular listeners will have noticed our introduction now has a new addition, from our friends over at Off The Cuffs who kindly invited us into the Podcast Jukebox Network, please do listen to the great podcasts included in that, and leave them and us a great review if you are listening on iTunes/Apple Podcasts. If you have any comments, or questions for us, about the podcast or kink in general, you can get in touch on anyone of our social media accounts; Fetlife, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. Just search for ‘proudtobekinky’ and there we will be. You can also swing by our Patreon page and support us there too, you can also get in touch with ideas for what rewards you would like to see on the Patreon page, all suggestions welcome.
May 19, 2017
Download here *** Please don't be alarmed by the new intro!!!***   TheWickedJade joins us for this episode as we pick her very knowledgable brain, about all things fashion. Kinky, sexy, fetishy fashion that is. You can follow her on Instagram (@thewickedjade) if you want to see her great pictures of some truly lovely lingerie and clothing pieces.   Once you’ve found you’ve way into the BSDM community and have decided you want to try out a Fetish event, one of the first questions people ask is ‘What do I wear?’ Nearly all of us have been there, and it can really take the edge of an event if you’re panicking that your outfit isn’t going to be right.   There can be a huge temptation to just go for the Latex option, the nature of Latex means it is inherently Fetishy, but at the same time it really isn’t for everyone. Spending the night in Latex if you really don’t enjoy it is no fun. Even those of us who absolutely love Latex, sometimes have the odd event where we just don’t feel in the Latex mood. So why not ditch the generic ideas of what is Fetish fashion, and find something that truly is your style and makes you feel fabulous.   How though? That is the question we need answering. So that is what we discuss in this episode. We talk about accessories, body painting, double act outfits and much more. Some other things we consider are cost of outfits and what you might like to do in the outfit once you’re at the event.   Men seem to flounder even more so when it comes to dressing for Fetish events, especially if they’re really not into Latex or feel it won’t flatter their body type. We have all seen men rocking some great outfits though, so we try and present some ideas that could give the guys listening some inspiration for their next kinky outfit.   We also ask WickedJade how she got into kink, and what sort of kinks interest her. This leads us to talking about vet wrap, mummification, medical play and much more. Including singing the praises of eBay and our quick fire question round. If anything we discuss in the episode doesn’t quite answer all your Fetish fashion queries then please do email us via with any questions you have and we will do our best to find the answers for you. You can also get in touch on all our social media accounts, Instagram, Twitter, Fetlife and Facebook. We will respond to all messages, and we love hearing from you. You can also support us on our Patreon account too.
May 11, 2017
Swinging is our focus this week, as we are joined by Author Cooper S. Beckett. He has written three books ‘A Life Less Monogamous’, ‘Life on the Swingset’ and ‘Approaching the Swingularity’. When we have an author on the show we always attempt to read as much of their work as possible, once again we were blown away by how much we enjoyed Cooper’s writing. [caption id="attachment_1344" align="aligncenter" width="300"]My Life on the Swingset My Life on the Swingset[/caption] There is often a lot of me, us, them amongst the varying subsets of alternative lifestyles. BDSM lifestylers aren’t always swingers, swingers aren’t always polyamorous and polyamorous folk may neither swing or be kinky. Some people however might be all three. Part of why I loved chatting with Cooper is that he wants us all to pull together. People outside of all three of those groups are likely to be judging us, and not kindly. The last thing we need is to be turning on each other as well.   Myself and Bakji are not swingers. We are non-monogamous kinksters who have been fascinated only by each other for a fair while now. Swinging wasn’t really something either of us had ever really considered ‘our thing’. However after reading Cooper’s books and chatting to him, we are actually talking about the fact that this could be fun for us. At the end of the day we love making new friends, we enjoy being sexy and perhaps we could learn more about a lifestyle that could be great for some of our listeners.   In this episode we talk about who might benefit from opening their relationship and what things you should be considering before, during and after opening up. We also talk about jealousy and what it can mean for us when that feeling is present and what we can do to work through that with our partner/s.   If you’re new to non-monogamy as a concept it can be easy to box up each subsection of it and see them as completely different entities, however as we talk to Cooper we discuss they notion of it being more a spectrum that you can move back and forth along depending on the types of people you meet and relationships you engage in.   As the social and interpersonal podcast we are always wondering what is it about each episode that might encourage or help people get themselves out and about and making like minded friends, and/or partner/s. While we don’t yet have all the advice on swinging we will do our best to help you find the answers should you be interested in getting your swing on.   You can also check out Cooper’s Podcast ‘Life on the Swingset’ for more information. On the subject of other podcasts, we are now part of the podcast network Podcast Jukebox, with our sister podcasts ‘Off The Cuffs: a kink and BDSM Podcast’, the ‘Will Sean Podcast’ and ‘Parking Lot Radio’. Please do give them all a listen. After you’ve listened to us though, we want to be your favourite.   All feedback is welcomed, as are questions relating to the podcast or about kink in general. You can email us via, or you can get in touch through any of our social media accounts, Instagram, Twitter and Fetlife. You can also support us on Patreon, which will enable us to grow the podcast and reach more curious kinksters and help them get their kink on.  
May 4, 2017
Relationship Engineering is this weeks topic, as Bakji and Floss return to get personal as they discuss how they manage their own relationship, within both a kink context and a romantic context.   It’s fair to say that both Bakji and Floss have quite distinct thoughts on how they like to approach relationships. Many of which have been formed by past experiences, some have been formed since joining the kink scene and a few are based on personal situations. Whatever the reason for each individual belief though, they can only really work because they are supported by both partners.   We are big believers in having the relationship that makes all involved in it happy. So this could be two people in a monogamous relationship, or it could be five people in a polycule. For us it doesn’t matter how your relationship looks, so long as it is making you happy.   A huge part of making any relationship work is communication, we are honest in saying this has been something we have definitely had to work on. It hasn’t come easily for us. However, the desire to continue having and building intimacy has propelled us forward in terms of how effective our communication is. In the podcast we talk about some methods we’ve found to help us communicate better and also the reasons why we perhaps neglected communication in the early days of our relationship.   While we don’t delve deeply into non-monogamy it is mentioned, a lot of the thoughts Floss mentions on this subject have been shaped by some other great resources. It would be a very long list for a blog post, but do get in touch if you would like more information on this.   We also talk around conventional relationship expectations and labels, and how you can become more comfortable using alternative explanations for how you present your relationship model to the outside world, who more often than not will have an opinion that you probably won’t ask for, but will hear anyway. Relationship goals and milestones also pop up to, and we discuss want you can do if you still want to include these things but without the usual formatting.   As always we would love to hear your feedback on this episode and all our previous episodes. Ideas for future episodes or general kink questions are also welcome. Our email is, or you can find us on Instagram, Twitter and Fetlife. You can also support us on Patreon, so we can continue to grow the podcast, reach even more people and help them get their kink on. Please have a listen to our friends Podcast ‘Off The Cuffs’ for more on kink, fetish and BDSM.
Apr 24, 2017
Author Nicholas Tanek joins us this week to discuss his new book ‘Your Kinky Friends’. We also touch upon his other titles ‘Chipped Black Nail Polish’ and ‘The Coolest Way To Kill Yourself’. Both Bakji and Floss have read all three books between them, and they come highly recommended. It is not often you get to chat with an author about a book you have enjoyed, so this made for a really nice experience. [caption id="attachment_1330" align="aligncenter" width="193"]Your Kinky Friends Your Kinky Friends[/caption] Nicholas is based in the U.S, so once again we were faced with the issue of time difference. We really wanted to bring this chat to the podcast though, so we took the hit and recorded at 1am U.K time. So you may need to look past the fact That Bakji and Floss sound a little on the tired side. We promise the next episode with be full energy and recorded at a normal time of day. We talk to Nicholas about what prompted him to join the scene, and how the BDSM community provided a positive space for him at a very low point in his life. For anyone who has wondered if you can find true friends and positive influences in the BDSM community then this story is for you. Pre-scene kink also crops up, as we discuss what kind of things Nicholas enjoyed as a young kinkster. More of which crops up in his book ‘The Coolest Way To Kill Yourself’. Which is peppered with lots of kinky tales but also deals with addiction, recovery, loss of a partner, love and friendship. Other topics we discuss in this episode are:
  • Early forays into kink
  • The love of all things FemDom
  • Perving the lingerie section of catalogues
  • The love of all things British
  • Hidden porn in the woods
  • And a whole host of other things
If anything we discuss in this episode prompts you to want to get in touch with us then you can do so via We are also on Instagram, Twitter and Fetlife. We also have our own Patreon page too, so if you love the podcast and would like to support us in reaching even more people with it, then you can do so there.
Apr 13, 2017
Download here Staying safe is the focus of this week's episode. As I (Floss) perused the BDSM subreddit she stumbled across a post that made her stop and think. We spend a lot of time encouraging people to make friends and meet like minded people, and while we are great advocates of munches and fetish events, we do understand that sometimes those avenues aren’t everyone’s first venture into kink.   Like the writer of the Reddit post, many people get chatting to someone online and choose to move their interactions into a real life meeting. While for some people this can lead to great experiences, and wonderful friendships and relationships. For many people, it is less successful. The particular post I read was an uncomfortable one to see, and it also caused some reflection on my own past decisions.   With that in mind, I proposed the idea of this episode to Bakji. I wanted to talk about how we can best keep ourselves safe, should we choose to arrange one on one meetings with people we meet online, or perhaps have had less time to get to know. We also take about the things that may well be red flags, and should perhaps make us think twice about moving forward with such interactions.   Topics discussed in this episode are:  
  • Social proof and why it’s important
  • Ideas for staying safe when meeting someone new
  • What behaviour should we be questioning
  • Suggestions for where to meet new people
  We want people to know they’re not alone in navigating those early days of finding a suitable partner, or making their way onto the fetish scene to find friends, and we definitely want you to know we have made our own mistakes along our journey, and that is partly what drives us to keep doing the podcast. BDSM is such a great and wonderful thing to explore and it is made even more glorious when you find the right people to enjoy it with and that is what we want for all our listeners. We have had some great feedback since the the last episode, please keep all your emails and comments coming. Our email as always is, or you can get in touch via any of social media accounts, Instagram, Twitter or Fetlife.
Apr 8, 2017
SlapStick Fetish Club has been running for a year, Bakji and Floss made their first visit back in March and were instantly seduced and it’s definitely up there as one of their top Fetish nights out. So when the lovely Pierre and Hannah who run the event agreed to come onto the podcast we were overjoyed. [caption id="attachment_1269" align="aligncenter" width="245"]SlapStick Club SlapStick Club[/caption] We can promote other people's events as much as we like, but hearing about events from the people that organise them is even better. One of the reasons people have said they enjoy the podcast is because it shows them that there are nice, regular people on the scene, the same goes for the people arranging events. They’re nice people who want to put on awesome events for like minded kinksters. I hope that by us talking to people who run Fetish nights, it will encouraging those of you who have yet to make it to your first Fetish event, to do just that.   Topics covered in this episode:  
  • What are their top tips for a first visit to a Fetish event
  • What made them decide to set up a Fetish event
  • What did they want to do a little bit different to other events
  • Is it difficult finding suitable locations for events
  At one point we digress a little bit into a discussion about swinging clubs. While they aren’t something any of us who host the podcast have experienced, and despite the fact there isn’t a huge swinging/BDSM crossover, we appreciate that some of our listeners might have interest in this aspect of sexual exploration, if so we hope some of what we discuss today will be of some use.   Hannah and Pierre were also kind enough to share a little bit more about themselves, and the relationships they are in and the types of kink activities they enjoy. We also asked how they initially discovered kink and what made them join the fetish scene.   You can find out more about SlapStick Club on their website, they are also on Instagram,, on Twitter @Slap_Stick_Club and Facebook, Their next event is on May 20th in London, so check that out if you think this sounds like your kind of night out. As always questions and comments on this episode and any of our previous episodes can be sent via hello@proudtobekinky, or via any of our social media accounts. You can find us on Instagram, Twitter, Fetlife and Facebook. We also have our Patreon account for anyone who would like to support the podcast and help us make it even better and reach more people.
Mar 31, 2017
Fellow podcasters Dick_Wound and Minimus Maximus are our guests for this episode. They host Off The Cuffs: A Kink and BDSM Podcast. When we were just a few episodes into #ProudToBeKinky, Dick_Wound reached out to us on Fetlife and offered podcasting camaraderie. We were genuinely touched, even more so when we asked for advice on guest episodes and they not only gave advice, but were active in getting us in contact with people who became future guests. [caption id="attachment_1251" align="aligncenter" width="300"]Off The Cuffs Podcast Off The Cuffs Podcast[/caption] When the conversation turned to possibly doing each other's shows we were very excited. I know we have our own podcast, which is brilliant, but going on someone else's show, well that’s a whole different ball game. So it was decided we would fire up Skype and each do a recording for the other podcast. I am happy to say we were not disappointed. Despite the geographical distance between us, it very much felt like making new friends.   Topics covered in this episodes are:  
  • How Dick and Max got into kink
  • What made them start a podcast together
  • What current dynamics they are enjoying
  • What kind of kinks and fetishes they have
  You can hear more from them on their podcast which can be found on iTunes and most other podcast apps. The are also on Fetlife and Twitter. If you’d like to hear the recording of we did for their show you, we were on Episode 49.   If you have any comments about this episode or any previous episodes you can email us via hello@proudtobekinky. Alternatively you follow and message us on Instagram, Twitter and Fetlife. Thank you to everyone who has sent in comments so far. They are fantastic to read.
Mar 26, 2017
Bootblacking came up in conversation back in episodes 12 and 13, when Bakji and Floss discussed the various roles you encounter on the Fetlife dropdown menu. At the time it was a new one for Bakji, and Floss had limited information but did feel it would be a fun one to discuss in the future should we meet anyone who could share their experiences of being a bootblack. [caption id="attachment_1237" align="aligncenter" width="300"]Boot Blacking Boot Blacking[/caption] As luck would have it that is exactly what has happened. Via the wonders of internet friends, email and Skype, we are able bring to you a chat with the lovely Aiden, who came onto the podcast to discuss his experiences of being a bootblack, as well as a host of other things.   Aiden has been on the scene for around 10 years, so once again it’s nice to chat to someone with a fair amount of experience under their kinky belt. While bootblacking isn’t his primary kink, it is the one that piqued our interest and it was definitely a conversation that gave us more understanding of the how’s and why’s of this kink.   Some of the things we discuss surround bootblacking are:  
  • Is it just shining boots? Or can other things be shined?
  • Is it purely service oriented? Or is there a sexual element for some people?
  • What products can you use?
  • Where can you go if you’re interested in bootblacking?
  We also chat to Aiden about the type of dynamics he’s currently involved in, some of his other kinks and what his thoughts are on getting social and making your way to a munch. The curious side of also wonders what the weekend brings for other kinksters, so we get the inside track on Aiden’s weekend plans and upcoming events.   Quick fire questions returns as well, because it is our new favourite thing. Guests always answer so differently and usually to great success. So expect more of this in the future, including more talks of sushi. If you have any ideas for some quick fire question please do email them to us via hello@proudtobekinky, as well as any other comments or questions you may have about the podcast. You can also follow us on Instagram, Twitter and Fetlife, and our Patreon page is now up and running so please do check us out there.
Mar 18, 2017
Download here Welcome to Episode 20 of #ProudToBeKinky, or should we say Episode d20, because this is another guest episode, in which we welcome a new friend of the show D20Domme and her submissive Lucky Puppy. We were absolutely delighted to have them on the podcast, and we had so much fun recording with them. So we hope you all enjoy listening to it just as much.   There are so many different ways to engage in BDSM, and as we have said in previous episodes the best way for you is the way that makes you and your partner/s happy. Guest episodes like this are brilliant because they give us all an insight into how someone else does BDSM their way.   One of the main things we were keen to chat to D20 and Lucky Puppy about was their long distance relationship. With one of them based in America and the other in the U.K at their time of meeting, we wanted to delve into the things they did to cement their connection and maintain a relationship across the many, many miles. We also discuss how they each got into kink and their journey from that point to where they are now.   Topics covered in this episode:  
  • How their relationship got started
  • Maintaining a LDR
  • The type of kinky activities and scenes they engage in
  • Chastity play
  • Sexy hypnosis
  • The differences/similarities between the scenes in the U.K and U.S
  • More Shibari talk
  • The importance of communication and honesty
  • Quick fire questions, which definitely made for some fun conversations
  Due to the fact that both our guests were really friendly and easy to chat to there is a lot of digressing from the topics at hand, so be prepared to hear our views on some slightly more random things. If our ramblings don’t quite give you all the information you’d like on d20 then you can also find her at her blog From Mundane to Mistress, which has lots of fab reads on it. As we always say, because we really do mean it, if you have any questions or thoughts on the podcast, including this and previous episodes please get in touch via, or through our Instagram, Twitter or Fetlife accounts. We also have a patreon account for those people who like to randomly give others money to support their endeavours.
Mar 11, 2017
Welcome to Episode 19 of #ProudToBeKinky, where Bakji and Floss talk through their experiences and thoughts on the various headspaces you may encounter when you start exploring Kink, Fetish and BDSM. [caption id="attachment_1312" align="aligncenter" width="300"]SubSpace and TopSpace SubSpace and TopSpace[/caption] When you first join the scene there are lots of new phrases you start to hear, one of the most common being 'subspace'. If you’ve played a little but never heard the term before, it can be hard to know if you've experienced it. It can also for some people become a bit of a goal to reach, and disappointment can occur for those people who struggle to get the experience of subspace they’d like.   However we don’t want anyone to feel disappointed in any aspect of their kink lifestyle. So in this episode we also cover the fact that this is something that can happen, but not experiencing it doesn’t detract from how much fun kinky play can be. In fact there may be situations in which people actively avoid subspace, so we touch on those too.   For those people who do like the idea of getting a bit ‘spacey’, we discuss what actions might get you there, and what you can expect when you have that experience. While subspace is probably the most talked about headspace on the scene, 'Top space' and 'rope space' are also ones we have come across on a fairly regular basis, so we have a little chat about those too.   When we experience subspace/Topspace, whether it’s for the first time, or if you’re seasoned player. The after effects of the intensity it brings can have an effect. This is what people will refer to as drop. We discuss how drop may feel for various people, and how aftercare can make drop less likely to occur, or at least bring comfort during it.   Topics covered in this episode:  
  • The different types of headspaces you may encounter
  • How to get into that ‘spacey’ zone
  • Why you might want avoid going ‘spacey’
  • How to transition from spacey play back into reality
  • The after effect of subspace/Topspace
  • How to alleviate drop
  As always if you have any comments on this episode, previous episodes or the podcast in general please do get in touch via We also are also happy to respond to any comment on Instagram, Twitter or Fetlife. So do give us a follow and say a little hello.
Mar 7, 2017
Download here Welcome to Episode #18 of #ProudToBeKinky. Join Bakji and Floss as they talk about how to be more dominant... but in sexy way. Please excuse their ever so slightly sleepy demeanour, this is the after effects of a very fun night out with Fetishy friends. We are definitely following our own advice about being social, but sometimes this does leave us burning the candles at both ends. We promise we will be a bit more alert for the next recording. So as you will know from previous episodes, Floss spends a lot of time perusing the internet and frequents places like the LoveHoney forum, FetLife groups and more recently forums. One of the questions that comes up time and time again in these forums is usually along the following lines: ‘My partner would like to be more submissive to me in the bedroom/in scene. How do I go about being more Dominant?’ The things people are often worried about are technical skills; for things like impact play, attitude; do they seem 'Domly' enough, confidence; nerves can absolutely take the edge of sexy times and many other worries come up alongside those few things. In this episode we talk about our own experiences, and what things might help someone who is new to Topping but really wants to give it a go and be confident with it. Topics covered in this episode:
  • The importance of communication
  • How to avoid Topping from the bottom and why that is important.
  • Practical ideas to combat nerves during a scene
  • Types of Domination you can include
This episode also introduces our new feature, ‘Writing of the Week’, this week features a writing from The Ochre Muse Blog. We read out the writing in question and we discuss why we enjoyed it, and how it’s message supports the ethos of the podcast. As always we enjoy hearing any feedback you have on the pod, so please do get in touch via, hello[at] You can also find us on Instagram, Twitter, FetLife and our new page over on Patreon. Please do come and connect with us and say a little hello.  
Feb 23, 2017
  Welcome to episode 17 of #ProudToBeKinky, this week you get a break from the current run and Bakji and Floss chats, as this week they are joined by their very first international guest. That’s right folks, we took to Skype to have a lovely chat with our guest Rachissa. Whose main Fetish is tickling. She kindly came on to talk us about how she got into tickling, and what the Fetish scene has to offer fellow ticklephiles. We talk a lot about kinks we are familiar with, such as Shibari and D/s. We are however an all inclusive podcast, and we want to encourage and celebrate all consensual kinks. If you are, or know someone who has a less common kink then please do get in touch if you think it’s something we should be talking about, or if indeed you think we should be talking to you.   Anyway, back to the tickling. Are you a ticklephile yourself? With no idea how to go about meeting fellow tickle fans? Then you definitely need to listen to this podcast. We find out how to discover your local tickle scene, what goes on at a tickle munch and what larger events there are to meet like minded people. #ProudToBeKinky Podcast | BDSM | Fetish | Kink |We also ask Rachissa about her personal tickling preferences, and how she combines tickling with other kinks. We also delve into her first ever tickle scene and her best ever tickle scene.   If you have any comments on this episode or any of our previous please don’t hesitate to get in touch with us via You can also follow us on Instagram, Twitter and Fetlife. We have recently start a page on Patreon as well, it is still in the early stages of development, so still lots more to come, but if anyone would like to support us in our efforts to make the podcast even better and reach even more kinky peope, then we would be very thankful.
Feb 18, 2017
Welcome to Episode #16 of #ProudToBeKinky. Bakji and Floss return with a topic inspired by a recent blog post written by Floss. You can check the full blog out here, essentially though it is a response to a reader's question about limits within the BDSM scene. It doesn’t take long once you join either Fetlife, or get down to a munch and you will see or hear someone mention limits in some way. They may mention hard limits, soft limits and in some cases no limits. If you have come from a non-kink background and have yet to do your research on things like limits, this may seem a bit daunting.
  • What if you don’t know your limits?
  • Can your limits change?
  • Are they there to be challenged?
  • What can limits cover?
There is no way of knowing these things until you learn them, we don’t want anyone running for the hills though because they’re too nervous to find out the answers before they are confident enough to start making friends. So we are going to do our best to cover the basics, so you know what you are dealing with when it comes to talking about limits. Both your own and others peoples. Topics we cover in this episode:
  • What are hard and soft limits?
  • How do we personally approach limits?
  • How can you discuss limits?
  • Can limits vary from day to day, partner to partner etc?
  • How can knowing your limits help you socially?
We hope you enjoy this episode and all previous episodes too. If you have any questions though, either about the topics we have already cover, topics you’d like us to cover or general thoughts on Kink, Fetish and BDSM, then please do get in touch. You can contact us on, also via our Instagram, Twitter and Fetlife Profiles.
Feb 9, 2017
Welcome to Episode #15 of the #ProudToBeKinky Podcast, this week sees Bakji and Floss discussing all things Latex. If we leave you with more questions than we answer, then please send us a message via and we will happliy message you back with a response. You can also find us on Instagram, Twitter and Fetlife. Thank you to everyone who has been in touch so far, it really is lovely to connect with those of you who are listening. [caption id="attachment_1213" align="aligncenter" width="298"]@_floss_84 in Latex @_floss_84 in Latex[/caption] Latex is a big passion for both Bakji and Floss, and in this episode they attempt to explore how you can get into the social side of loving Latex and the some of the practical elements of being into Latex. It can be easy to feel like you are the only one with your Fetish when your Fetish is quite niche like Latex. We are here to tell you though that this is definitely not the case. The Latex groups of Fetlife are filled with people who offer a plethora of information on buying, wearing and meeting other Latex enthusiasts. Now while that is a good place to find a mine of information, we still, as always recommend getting yourself out to munches and events to meet like minded folk. As you will hear us discuss in more detail in the podcast. When it comes to the practical side of being into or getting into Latex, there is a lot to cover, and it seems to be something you can continuously learn new things about. Practical Topics covered in this episode are:
  • Where to buy Latex
  • Latex care (cleaning, shining & dressing aids)
  • Difference between dipped and glued Latex
  • Chlorinated Latex -  what it is & why people do it
  We hope you enjoy this episode of #ProudToBeKinky, if there are any topics you’d love to hear us discuss then please do get in touch with your suggestions.   Links: The Cage Westward Bound Latex Libidex Latex Clothing
Feb 4, 2017
Welcome to Episode #14 of #ProudToBeKinky, where Bakji and Floss are back to talk more about Shibari. If you're tuning in for the first time and you’re wondering what the heck Shibari is. Head a few episode back and listen to Episode #08, where Floss gets the lowdown on Shibari from two guest experts.   For those who have listened to that episode, and are wondering why we are revisiting the same topic so soon, there were some people left wondering about the actual where’s and how’s of Shibari. So here we are to try and fill in the gaps. [caption id="attachment_1190" align="aligncenter" width="300"]Rope Bondage Rope Bondage[/caption] First of all we aim to cover the social elements of Shibari:  
  • What is a Rope Munch?
  • What can you expect at a Rope Munch?
  • And why is it worth going?
  • Why is it worth learning rope?
  Then we move on to the more practical elements of getting into Shibari:  
  • Where can you learn online?
  • What rope is available?
  • Who to buy from
  • Things to consider for suspensions
  Links:   Ganraptor on YouTube Two Knotty Boys Video Moco Hip Harness & MocoJute Twisted Monk on YouTube & TwistedMonk Website Esinem Website MMHJute Website Knothead Nylon Site
Jan 29, 2017
Welcome to Episode #013 of #ProudToBeKinky, this is Part 2 of our ‘Roles & Their Definitions’. Once again it is Bakji and Floss, discussing some of the roles you may encounter when you join the scene, and more specifically Fetlife. While other roles are available, for the purpose of this episode we are discussing the roles available on the FetLife drop down menu, in the general information section of your Fetlife profile. In this episode we cover the roles that are encountered less frequently. We have approached with as much knowledge as we have on each one, but as we said in the previous episode, many roles are open to interpretation and a person's own feeling surrounding their kink identity. If you would like to get in touch about this episode or any previous episodes you can do so on hello [at], or via Instagram, Twitter and FetLife. Especially if you would like to share your thoughts surround one of the roles in this episode. Whilst we really did try to cover everything we could, we didn't get round to Age Play. So we've add it to the list here. Roles Covered in this Episode:
  • Brat
  • Pet
  • Kitten
  • Pup
  • Pony
  • Evolving
  • Exploring
  • Vanilla
  • Undecided
  • Not applicable
  • Primal
  • Primal Predator
  • Primal Prey
  • Doll
  • Furry
  • Kajira
  • Kajirus
  • Sensualist
  • Princess
  • Cuckold
  • Cukquean
  • Spanko
  • Spankee
  • Leather Man
  • Leather Woman
  • Leather Daddy
  • Leather Top
  • Leather Bottom
  • Leather boy
  • Leather girl
  • Leather boi
  • Bootblack
And a few we accidentally missed:
  • Ageplayer
  • Big
  • Middle
  • Daddy
  • Mommy
  • Little
Jan 26, 2017
Welcome to Episode #012 of #ProudToBeKinky, Bakji and Floss return this week to give you the lowdown on the various role options you might encounter when you join the scene. While other roles are available, for the purpose of this episode we are discussing the roles available on the Fetlife drop down menu, in the general information section of your Fetlife profile. This is going to be a two part discussion, so make sure to come back for Episode #013 where we will cover the roles we don’t get round to in this episode. In this episode we cover the more common roles that many of us will have heard of before we joined the scene, such as Dominant and submissive. There are so many things can feel like ‘must do’ things when you first join the scene, and sometimes we see new people rush to adopt their chosen role, and try their best to adhere to how they think that means they should behave. However, the more time you spend on the scene the more you realise that most people are fairly fluid in their approach to play and often encompass more than one role and whether or not you choose to use a role to identify your interests is most definitely a choice and not a necessity. We have approached each role with the standard definition that can be found in places such as the BDSM Glossary group on Fetlife. However lots of people choose to identify as a particular role but may attach their own definition to it. If you have adopted one of the roles discussed but approach in a different way we’d love to hear from you, so email us at Topics covered in this episode:
  • The more common roles encountered on the scene & their definitions
  • What roles to Bakji & Floss identify with and why
  • Where are Ben & Viv?
  • Shout Outs
Roles Covered in this Episode:
  • Dominant
  • Domme
  • Switch
  • Submissive
  • Master
  • Mistress
  • Slave
  • Top
  • Bottom
  • Sadist
  • Masochist
  • Sadomasochist
  • Kinkster
  • Fetishist
  • Swinger
  • Hedonist
  • Exhibitionist
  • Voyeur
  • Slut
  • Sissy
  • Rigger
  • Rope Top
  • Rope bottom
  • Rope bunny

Remember you can also follow us on Instagram, Twitter and Fetlife.

Jan 15, 2017
Welcome to Episode #011 of #ProudToBeKinky, where Bakji Ben and Floss are joined by two guests and friends of the show John and Sandy, a married Mistress and Slave.

Before I discuss what we talk about with John and Sandy, I’d just like to apologise for my lack of chatting in this episode, I was a poorly Floss on the day of recording so couldn’t quite manage much more than my own name. Also if anyone is wondering where Blue Ben and Viv have gone, fear not, they will be back soon, they are busy enjoying life, but we will definitely be hearing more from them in the near future.

Now back to this week's episode. We met John and Sandy on one of our adventures to a new Fetish Club, so they are more proof that all our talk about getting out there and getting social will be beneficial to you is definitely true. As well as fab friends they are also excellent Podcast guests, because they have their own unique story which shows another aspect of how people find their way onto the scene.

John and Sandy met at university and have been together for 14 years, married for 7, and have only joined the kink scene in recent years. Their journey into BDSM started like it does for many people with light bondage, sex toys and open communication and things slowly progressed from there.

Topics we cover in this episode:

  • How John and Sandy discovered they were kinky
  • What made John and Sandy join the Fetish scene
  • How it felt attending their first munch
  • How they came to run a munch & their thoughts on that
  • How they balance their dynamic with non-kink life

We hope you enjoy this episode, and remember if you’d like to offer any feedback or have any questions about the podcast, about kink or about the Fetish scene then drop us an email via You can also contact us through our Instagram, Twitter or Fetlife accounts.

Jan 8, 2017

Welcome to Episode #010 of #ProudToBeKinky, and our first episode of 2017. Bakji and Floss return as they offer up their ‘2016 Retrospective’ episode.

  Kinky 2016 Retrospective

Both Bakji and myself have had a busy year, and while many of our adventures have been enjoyed together, it doesn’t mean to say our take on things were the same. So in this episode they each select five of their highlights from 2016.

While this is a look back on the things we enjoyed in 2016, it’s also a chance to highlight the fun that can be had once you get yourself out there on the kink scene and socialising with other kinky people. I know it probably sounds easier for us as this year we’ve done new things as a couple this year, but remember we both joined the scene as single people who knew nobody, and have since met lots of lovely friends and through them each other.

So join us for this episode and find out the following:

  • Who copied whose list when some of our highlights match up (hint: I finished my list first so Bakji totally copied me)
  • Who finally got the hang of rope
  • Who really got into the swing of things with their suspensions
  • Who loves Latex
  • And a few other kinky highlights

We really hope you enjoy this episode, and if you have any feedback please remember that we love hearing from anyone who’s listening. You can email us on, comment on any of our posts on Instagram and Twitter or via our Fetlife account, just search for ProudToBeKinky. If you listen via iTunes and would like to leave a review of the podcast we’d be thrilled to read it.

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