Even in established dynamics like ours, we still have ongoing conversations around negotiating scenes and consenting to activities we are happy to engage in.
In new dynamics this is crucial to creating a feeling of safety and trust with your partner, without which there is not much of a foundation to build on.
We discuss what consent looks like for us, what makes us decide consent is not being enthusiastically given and how you can ask for consent in a sexy way.
If you would like to get in touch with us you can do so via hello@proudtobekinky.com or via any of our social media platforms:
We are also part of the Podcast Jukebox Network along with Off the Cuffs, Being There, the Will Sean Podcast, Drinks with God and No Love Lost. We are all available and most podcast apps, and as always love to read you reviews if your chosen app allows for them.
This episode also see the return of our bonus section, now officially called ‘The After Bit’, please check out the full post ‘Boobs Behaving Badly’ we mention submitted by PixieHeart and thank you very much to Darn for his contribution too. If you have any stories for us, then get in touch, this week we talk about kinks that I totally made you say ‘No Way!’ But soon had you say ‘Yes! Yes! Yes!’.
Floss and Bakji are no strangers to talking about kink, but this week we are getting down and dirty with a discussion about sexual technique. What is it? Do we have it? And how does one improve it?
Some of the things we discuss in this episode are:
A lot of this episode is about our personal preferences and we encourage everyone to discover their own likes and dislikes. If you’ve got a go to move though that always seems to get sexy results then we’d love to hear about it.
If you would like to get in touch with us you can do so via hello@proudtobekinky.com or via any of our social media platforms:
We are also part of the Podcast Jukebox Network along with Off the Cuffs, Being There, the Will Sean Podcast and Drinks with God. We are all available and most podcast apps, and as always love to read you reviews if your chosen app allows for them.
Non-Monogamy came second in our recent Twitter poll about topics you’d like to hear us discuss. In this episode we discuss:
This week also introduces our new segment ‘Unnamed Bonus Section’. Which we hope will encourage listener participations for those of you who are so inclined.
If you would like to get in touch with us you can do so via hello@proudtobekinky.com or via any of our social media platforms:
We are also part of the Podcast Jukebox Network along with Off the Cuffs, Being There, the Will Sean Podcast and Drinks with God. We are all available and most podcast apps, and as always love to read you reviews if your chosen app allows for them.
Confidence is our focus for this episode. More specifically is lack of confidence affecting your kink. If so, this episode is for you. Inspired by a blog post by Floss on her personal blog flossdoeslife.com. We attempt to give you some solutions to boost your kinky confidence, even if that just means faking it till you make it.
We would also like to say a huge thank you for your patience while we took a break from our regularly scheduled shows. The time of to freshen up and think of some awesome new podcast ideas was amazingly beneficial, and your ongoing support while we rested was very much appreciated.
Our top tips for increasing your kinky confidence are:
We discuss all these point in more depth and were applicable we also talk about how they have worked for us, and how we continually apply some of them to our own dynamic.
If you would like to hear more about how our dynamic unfolds within our own session then you can head over to our Patreon page where for $2 a month you can get access to all past and future FemDom and Fetish Fun episodes, where we share details of all our kinky sessions.
We are also part of the Podcast Jukebox Network along with Drinks with God, Off the Cuffs, The Will Sean Podcast and Dick Wounds new show Being There. You can find all of us on most available podcast apps, and as always we love to receive your reviews and feedback.
You can get in touch with us on any of our social media platforms or you can email us via hello@proudtobekinky.com.
Links:
Room 101 is our inspiration this week as Bakji and Floss return with what we hope to be a fun episode. While originating in George Orwell’s 1984, Room 101 is said to be named after a conference room at the BBC where he attended incredibly boring meetings. In the novel 1984 it is a room where people are taken to face their worst fears. On a lighter note, it is also the name of a BBC comedy show, where guests are invited to put their pet peeves or worst fears into ‘Room 101’. The host of the show then decides whether or not their particular suggestions are worthy of being banished.
In our take on this, we each got to pick four things we would send to Room 101 if we got the chance. In keeping with the theme of our podcast the things we have chosen are relationship or sex based from our days before we met each other.
We also chose a wildcard each, which we were to present as a genuine suggestion and the other person had to guess which the wildcard was as we went along. One of us tried their best to disguise the wildcard and one of us picked a glaringly obvious wildcard. You will have to listen to find out which was which.
We also try to counteract our annoyance with these particular relationship habits, by offering up our solutions to what better alternatives are, and how we avoid those particular things in our time together.
If you have any comments on this episode, previous episodes or simply want to get in touch to say hello, then please do so on any of our social media platforms, Twitter, Instagram, Fetlife and Facebook, or via hello [at] proudtobekinky.com.
If you would like more episodes from us then please head over to Patreon.com/proudtobekinky and for $2 a month you can have access to our Patron exclusive FemDom and Fetish Fun, where we discuss all out kinky scenes.
We are also part of the Podcast Jukebox Network along with Off the Cuffs: a kink and BDSM podcast, the Will Sean podcast, Drinks with God, and Dick Wounds new podcast Being There. You can find us all on most available podcast apps, and should your chosen app allow for reviews then we always love to receive those.
Eyal Matsliah is a sexual empowerment coach, and the author of ‘Orgasm Unleashed’ - a guide to pleasure, healing and power. So we left kink behind for an episode to focus on the wonder of orgasms and the joy they can bring. While the book is aimed at women, it is also suitable for anyone who is looking to enhance their orgasmic experience and better learn about the pleasure their body can bring them. We speak to Eyal about what inspires him to do the work he does, what kind of work he does within his coaching and mentoring sessions and the benefits we can gain from engaging in some of Eyal’s approaches.
Floss not being one to shy away from sharing her own personal orgasm tales, asks Eyal some questions based on her own experiences, that listeners have previously related to when discussed in other episodes. If you have struggled to orgasm, find masturbation uninspiring or wonder where in the day you meant to schedule time for self-indulgence, we asked Eyal about all these things in the hope the answers will be informative. We also discuss some of the areas in which we may feel disconnected from our sexuality, or our sexual empowerment and what we can do to overcome this to connect, explore and delve deeper within ourselves, hopefully leading to not only a more fulfilling sex life, but a more fulfilling life in general.
You can find out more about Eyal and the work he does via his website Intimate Power. You can also find links to his book and other resources there too.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Orgasm-Unleashed-guide-pleasure-healing-ebook/dp/B015L4D8M6
To contact us about this episode, or about anything else, you can do so via hello@proudtobekinky.com, or through our Instagram, Twitter and Fetlife Pages.
If you would like more of us, you can access our spin-off podcast FemDom and Fetish Fun, through our Patreon page. In FemDom and Fetish Fun Floss and Bakji discuss their mutual love of FemDom and all the sexy details of the scenes they en joy. We are also part of the Podcast Jukebox Network along with Off the Cuffs: a kink and BDSM podcast, Drinks with God and the Will Sean Podcast. We can all be found on most podcast apps, and we’d be lying if we said we don’t love awesome ratings and reviews. So please do send them our way if your app allows for them.
Rain DeGrey is an author, BDSM and sex educator and someone who has been fully immersed in kink lifestyle for the last decade. She has done shoots for kink.com and has experienced many, many kinks and is wonderfully open about discussing and sharing her information and experiences with others.
We discuss why Rain is so passionate about embracing a kink lifestyle and why she encourages other people to do the same and explore what it is about kink that they enjoy. Which given the ethos of our podcast is a perfect conversation for us to share with our listeners.
Rain shares with us another passion of hers, which is education. We talk about some of the classes she teaches, and how they have evolved over the years and what it is about doing her classes that is so rewarding.
We also talk about the wonderful exchange that exists between Tops and bottoms, and what we each bring to our interactions and how if each person involved isn’t fully present and invested in the exchange it may not be as successful as we’d like it to be.
If you’re listening to this episode and you still haven’t been to your local munch, but would like to go, get ready for some serious encouragement for why you should go, it’s nice that it’s not us saying it for a change but someone else.
As always you can get in touch about this episode or any previous episodes, by using our email hello@proudtobekinky.com. You can also send us any questions you might have about the podcast or about kink in general. We are also on Twitter, Instagram, Fetlife and Facebook and you are welcome to connect with us there too. As well as swinging by our Patreon for exclusive FemDom and Fetish Fun podcast episodes.
We are also part of the Podcast Jukebox Network, along with Off the Cuffs: a kink and BDSM podcast, the Will Sean Podcast and Drinks with God. You can find all of us on iTunes and most other podcast apps, and if your chosen app allows for reviews and 5 star ratings then we are always very excited to receive those.
Bakji and Floss have been busy this year, not only with the podcast, but also with outings to Fetish events and indulging in sexy scenes at home. In this episode we discuss some of the things we’ve done this year.
Regular listeners of our spin-off podcast FemDom and Fetish Fun, will be familiar with some of the scenes we have enjoyed throughout 2017. Which ones have been our favourites though? We have each picked out Tops kink moments and discuss why they stand out for us.
As well as a little bit of reminiscing we also look to future kinky fun as we talk about what our kinky resolutions are for 2018. While we both pick very sexy things, we definitely have very different ideas of what we’d like to do next. So we should have an interesting year ahead.
As always we would love to hear from you, whether it is about this episode or with a questions for us, you can do that via hello@proudtobekinky.com. You can also find us on Twitter, instagram, Facebook and Fetlife.
If you would like to listen to the previously mentioned FemDom and Fetish Fun, you can do so through our Patreon Page.
We are also part of the Podcast Jukebox Network along with Off The Cuffs, The Will Sean Podcast and Drinks with God. Reviews are always appreciate from both us and the other shows on the network.
Safewords are this episodes topic of conversation. After Floss saw a few posts in a short space of time all about the same subject on Reddit, it seemed like the time was right for safewords to have their own episode.
We are definitely in the group of people who feel like having a safeword is good thing, no matter who you are playing with, however when researching the topic online to make sure we were presenting the right information we did come across lots of people who don’t feel the need to use them, and we are certainly not saying one way is right and one is wrong, just that there are options to consider.
As well as general approaches to safewords we do discuss the ones we use personally and our own personal thoughts on them. We also discuss what we might do if someone used an unfamiliar safeword and what we would do if a safeword ended a scene.
For those people who are fans of clear communication and do not see a safeword as something they need, we talk about some situations where even people who can read each other well and communicate during scenes might find a safeword of use. We also touch upon nonverbal safewords and how you can check in on a partner who might be particularly sub-spacey and unable to communicate well.
While we appreciate that not all kinksters will want to use a safeword, it is definitely something that we should all be making an informed and considered decision on. Yet it still seems to be a topic that has people incredibly divided and has people new to the scene asking what teople new to the scene asking what the ‘right way’ is.
As with all episodes of you have any feedback for us you can email us via hello@proudtobekinky.com. You can also get in touch on any of our social media platforms:
We also have a Patreon site, where you can access our spin-off podcast FemDom and Fetish Fun. Which is all about the sexy and kinky scene Bakji and I get up to behind closed doors.
We are also part of the Podcast Jukebox Network along with Off the Cuffs, Drinks with God and the Will Sean Podcast.
Shut The WOOF Up is a new podcast that is all about puppy play and the community and activities that it encompasses. The host Volka was kind enough to join us for an episode so that we could ask him all the questions we’ve had for ages about puppy play.
First things first, Volka has a sound effects board. I am sorry I failed to control Bakji, he far less pliable and a lot more defiant when fully clothed. You will hear a lot of sound effect, and I mean a lot. The good news is, we haven’t got a sound board. The bad news is, Bakji wants one. So watch this space.
Anyway, back to puppy play. Once you start bimbling around the kink community you start to comes across a variety of pet play, ponies, kittens and puppies are probably the most popular and puppy play is a community alongside but also separate from the kink community. There are pup munches, pup events and pup websites to help you meet other like minded pups and/or handlers.
Volka was extremely open, and wonderful about answering all our questions. Which means we were able to talk about exactly what being a pup might entail. Is it sexual? Is it platonic? Are there lady pups? What the devil do you do if you go to a pup event?
We also ask Volka all about his podcast, all about his personal dynamics, because we’re nosey like that and generally we had a blast and if you think puppy play might be for you, then you need this episode. If you don’t think it’s for you I’m pretty sure you will still find much hilarity within this conversation.
Links discussed during the show are as follows:
As we always say because it is 100% true, please get in touch, we love hearing from you, whether it’s feedback, questions, or just something daft. You can find us and reach out to us on any of the following:
You can also swing by our Patreon site where you can hear more from us in our episodes of FemDom and Fetish Fun, our spin-off podcast all about our kinky scenes that we enjoy together.
If you’re looking for new podcasts to enjoy you can listen to our fellow Podcast Jukebox Network shows, Off the Cuffs, Drinks with God and the Will Sean podcast. We will have new shows joining us soon too. We all love reviews and 5 star ratings, if you haven’t done that yet but would like to do so, then thank you in advance
Princess Kali is our guest for this episode and we could not have been more excited to speak to her. Her book Enough To Make You Blush was one of Floss’ early and favourite resources when she was beginning her journey into FemDom. Getting to talk to people whose work we genuinely enjoy is one of the awesome bonuses of doing the podcast.
Princess Kali has been on many podcasts discussing not only her book, but also sharing her approach to Domination and her work with Kink Academy. Which is another great resource for kink education. This however did mean that thinking up new and interesting questions for her was a tricky task. That said though we are really excited to bring you this episode and feel like we’ve got some great information to share with you.
Humiliation can sometimes be a kink that many people will respond to with ‘Oh yeah, I’m not into that’, with a little bit of exploration though there can often be many fun and erotic entry points for us to explore the vast variety of erotic humiliation. From mild embarrassment to hardcore degradation.
While we had Princess Kali with us we tried to get you the best information we could on why people might engage in erotic humiliation and what potential elements of it you might find pleasure in, whether that is as a Top or as a bottom. We also discuss how to get the conversation started if you feel like you’d like to explore erotic humiliation but have no idea where to begin.
If you would like to find out more about Princess Kali and Enough To Make You Blush you can do so by using the following links:
instagram.com/enoughtomakeyoublush
As always if you have any feedback on this episode you can contact us via hello@proudtobekinky.com or you can reach out using any of our social media platforms:
We are also part of the Podcast Jukebox Network along with Off The Cuffs, Drinks with God and the Will Sean Podcast. We are all available on most podcast apps and if you listen on a platform that allows reviews then please do leave a wonderful 5 star review.
While red flags usually refers to those behaviors that would signal relationship is unsafe or unhealthy, in this episode we are discussing those things that are incompatibility red flags. Things that have in the past, or would in the future signal to us that a relationship isn’t as well suited to us as we had hoped it might be.
Over the years we have both been in these relationships ourselves, as well as having many friends put up with varying levels of incompatibility, when we’ve looked at our reasons for staying or enquired with friends why they themselves stayed the answer is always a variation on the same thing ‘what if I don’t find anyone else who’s kinky/does the things I like sexually’.
We are are big believers that no-one should be stuck in an unhappy relationship for fear of not finding someone else to indulge in their kinks with. We also know though that it’s definitely easier said than done, especially if you’re new to exploring your kink and suddenly finding someone who is into them too feels like it’s too good to be true. We are really passionate about people investing in the right people for them, and having not only a good kink dynamic but also a good friendship and relationship beyond that too.
We discuss some of the things that would be incompatibility red flags for us personally, and alternatively the green flags that make us delighted to spend time with someone. These are likely to be different for everyone, so we’re not saying take ours to heart and follow them religiously. We do however hope people are mindful of their own situations and surround themselves with good people and nourishing relationships, be they romantic or platonic.
As always if you have any feedback on this episode or on the podcast in general you can email us on hello@proudtobekinky.com. You can also follow us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and Fetlife.
We are also on Patreon, which you can find by using the following link www.patreon.com/proudtobekinky. Where you can find or spin-off podcast FemDom and Fetish Fun, where we discuss our own kinky scenes.
#ProudToBeKinky is also part of the Podcast Jukebox Network along with Off The Cuffs, Drinks with God, Parking Lot Radio and the Will Sean Podcast.
DaveCat is our guest for this week's episode and we were delighted to have him on the show, having heard him on a couple of other podcasts. Part of doing the podcast was to not only talk about Kinks, Fetishes and elements of BDSM, but also to talk to people who have alternative lifestyles, alternative relationships models or just generally express themselves in a way some people may not be familiar with.
DaveCat joined us with his wife Sidore, they also have two other partners living with them, Elena and Miss Winter. Sidore, Elena and Miss Winter are all synthetic women, or real dolls. DaveCat shares how he came to welcome Sidore into his life, 17 years ago, and how Elena and Miss Winter joined them in more recent years.
As big fans of finding a community that you feel comfortable in, and one in which you can hopefully find like minded people, we ask DaveCat about the idollator community, and what kinds of online and offline support and advice is available, especially to those people who are just beginning their journey, either with a synthetic partner or with a view to finding one.
We also talk about some of the documentaries DaveCat has featured on, all of which are listed on the media portion of his website which is listed below. While TV often does it’s best to sensationalise any given topic, it feels like shows like ours, Off the Cuffs and many other awesome shows are hopefully a less biased platform for people to learn about new things, whether they are into it themselves or not.
There is so much more we talk to DaveCat about, far too much to squeeze into one blog post without spoiling the episode for you. We hope you enjoy this episode though and if you have any feedback you can contact us on our email hello@proudtobekinky.com, or find us on Twitter, Instagram, Fetlife or Facebook.
You can also find support us on Patreon, https://www.patreon.com/proudtobekinky, where you can find our spin-off podcast FemDom and Fetish Fun. You can also leave us an awesome 5 star reviews if you listen on iTunes/Apple Podcast App. We are also part of the Podcast Jukebox Network with Off the Cuffs, Drinks with God, Parking Lot Radio and the Will sean Podcast, who you might also enjoy tuning into.
Links:
DaveCat’s Blog - www.kuroneko-chan.com/echoes/
DaveCat on Twitter - https://twitter.com/Davecat
Sidore on Twitter - https://twitter.com/leahtype
Anatomical Doll - http://www.anatomicaldoll.com/start_en.php
Kinky scenes for us can be anything from an impromptu handjob to a more elaborate and lengthier session. Either way we always enjoy them and we’ve had a fair bit of scene variety in our time playing together.
When we record FemDom and Fetish Fun, the spin-off podcast we release for our Patrons, we discuss our scenes in quite a lot of detail. Off the back of that we have had a couple of people ask where we get our ideas, and wondering how they can better plan and make the most of their own kinky fun.
We have both approached taking control of a scene as relatively newbies to Topping, and we know it can feel really daunting, so we try to cover how you can take charge of the acre and make it fun without feeling overwhelmed and worried about whether or not it’s fun.
Floss especially took great pleasure in researching a variety of approaches to FemDom to give her a bit more confidence when it came to scene inspiration. Kinky porn was a treasure trove of inspiration and had led to many new discoveries and fab ideas.
As always you can send feedback on this episode to hello@proudtobekinky.com, or through any of our social media platforms. We’re also happy to answer any kink related questions you might have if you feel we can help in anyway.
We are also part of the Podcast Jukebox Network along with Off the Cuffs, Drinks with God, Parking Lot Radio and the Will Sean Podcast. You can find us all on most podcast apps and if you listen through your Apple podcast app you can also leave us a lovely review.
Shibari is something we might have mentioned once or twice before on the podcast and because there are so many different voices to hear on it we are revisiting it again. This time with the lovely Evie Vane, a rope bottom who has written two books The Little Guide to Getting Tied Up and Better Bondage for Every Body.
Evie has been into rope for about 7 years and in that time has gathered lots of experience and information that she is now sharing with other people. It can be easy to talk yourself out of giving rope a try, it can seem very technical and often the images we see of rope bottoms in rope do not always feel relatable for some people. Evie’s latest book definitely supports the notion that rope can be for everyone.
Shibari does have many ties that you can learn step by step, there’s knots and frictions and wraps, and unfamiliar names for many things, essentially though what many of us are learning and seeking is a connection with our rope partner. That partner might be someone we will only tie once, or it might be our romantic or sexual partner, either way the connection and feelings we can explore through rope are vast.
We ask Evie what her advice would be for anyone looking to explore rope, so if you’re sat at home and you still haven’t found the encouragement you need to get out there and try rope in some way, then perhaps Evie’s episode can be the push you need. We also discuss what you can do if you’re already a bottom but feel like there are areas you would like to work on, for example flexibility or stamina.
If there any aspect of rope we haven’t covered yet that you would like to hear us discuss then please email us via hello@proudtobekinky.com. You can also get in touch on any of our social media platforms, Instagram, Twitter, Fetlife or Facebook.
You can also find Evie on social media too, her links are as follows:
Evie's Website - ropebottoming.com
We are also part of the Podcast Jukebox Network, if you’d like to listen to our fellow network shows they are Off the Cuffs: a kink and BDSM podcast, Drinks with God, the Will Sean Podcast and Parking Lot Radio.