Room 101 is our inspiration this week as Bakji and Floss return with what we hope to be a fun episode. While originating in George Orwell’s 1984, Room 101 is said to be named after a conference room at the BBC where he attended incredibly boring meetings. In the novel 1984 it is a room where people are taken to face their worst fears. On a lighter note, it is also the name of a BBC comedy show, where guests are invited to put their pet peeves or worst fears into ‘Room 101’. The host of the show then decides whether or not their particular suggestions are worthy of being banished.

In our take on this, we each got to pick four things we would send to Room 101 if we got the chance. In keeping with the theme of our podcast the things we have chosen are relationship or sex based from our days before we met each other.

We also chose a wildcard each, which we were to present as a genuine suggestion and the other person had to guess which the wildcard was as we went along. One of us tried their best to disguise the wildcard and one of us picked a glaringly obvious wildcard. You will have to listen to find out which was which.

We also try to counteract our annoyance with these particular relationship habits, by offering up our solutions to what better alternatives are, and how we avoid those particular things in our time together.

If you have any comments on this episode, previous episodes or simply want to get in touch to say hello, then please do so on any of our social media platforms, Twitter, Instagram, Fetlife and Facebook, or via hello [at] proudtobekinky.com.

If you would like more episodes from us then please head over to Patreon.com/proudtobekinky and for $2 a month you can have access to our Patron exclusive FemDom and Fetish Fun, where we discuss all out kinky scenes.

We are also part of the Podcast Jukebox Network along with Off the Cuffs: a kink and BDSM podcast, the Will Sean podcast, Drinks with God, and Dick Wounds new podcast Being There. You can find us all on most available podcast apps, and should your chosen app allow for reviews then we always love to receive those.

Sex toys and lots of them. That is what we have for you this week. We quite often use a few of our toys in our kinky play, and we mention them in passing but in this episode we are giving you our opinions of some of the products that we have acquired over the past few months. As a full disclaimer some of these products were sent to us for free in exchange for our reviews. For anyone who is new to sex toy reviewing, let me assure that free does not equal a great review as this episode will show. We have however tried to be fair in terms of it being suitable for others even if it doesn’t suit our particular needs. Both Bakji and Floss have picked three of their most recently used toys, although Floss rebels and actually talks about five. For prostate and anal play we discuss the following three products:

• Nexus Ace Medium USB Rechargeable Extra Quiet Remote Control Vibrating Butt Plug - £59.99
• Lovehoney Desire Luxury USB Rechargeable Remote Control Prostate Massager - £74.99
• Nexus Revo Slim Remote Controlled Rotating Silicone Massager - £149.99

For clitoral stimulation we discuss these products:

• Maison Vesta Kassandra Waterproof Massage Wand - $39.95
• Satisfyer Pro 2 and Satisfyer Pro-Penguin -  £69.99
• Rocks Off Atomic - £19.99
• Iroha Tenga Stick Vibrator - £17.99

Where possible I have linked to the sites we purchased from, or that the products were sent from. All the products we have used are marketed as using body safe materials, if you would like to know more about what sex toys are made from and what we mean by body safe then you can learn more by visiting dangerouslilly.com. Her information is by far the most comprehensive for this subject matter. If you are curious about our views on any other products then please do get in touch via hello@proudtobekinky.com. You can also get in touch with any other questions you may have about the podcast or kink in general. We can also be found on Twitter, Instagram, Fetlife and Facebook. We are also part of the Podcast Jukebox Network along with Off the Cuffs: a kink and BDSM podcast, Drinks with God and the Will Sean podcast. We are all available on most podcast apps and keep those reviews coming too because they really do make our day, and they are so helpful in letting new listeners know we are absolutely worth a listen.

FemDom is our topic of discussion this week. Both Bakji and Floss are big, big fans of FemDom which you may have noticed if you are a regular listener. If you are a new listening then you about to join us in our little world of FemDom for the first time. As a FemDom enthusiast Floss frequents quite a few forums related to the topic, including the FemDom sub-reddits. One of the recurring questions is ‘What do women get out of FemDom?’, the back and forth of these discussion made it clear that a lot of people were a bit uncertain as to why we enjoy it. One of the reasons that seems to make people question a woman’s reasons for enjoying female dominance is the misconception that is doesn’t involve sex for the woman. In most of these cases I think the sex that is being referred to is PIV, where as we tend to mean the entire spectrum of sexual activities when we discuss how we incorporate sex into our FemDom scenes. With these points in mind we discuss what FemDom looks like for us, and how it is satisfying and extremely enjoyable both with and with sexual pleasure, for both partners involved. Our perspective comes from our personal dynamic, where FemDom is included in our kinky dynamic. All experiences vary, part of this discussion though is hopefully highlighting a side of FemDom we may not always see portrayed publicly. We always love to hear feedback from you on recent or previous episodes, you can contact us via hello@proudtobekinky.com, or through any of our social media accounts, Twitter, Instagram, Fetlife and Facebook. If you’d like to hear more details about our kinky fun, you can do so by visiting our Patreon site and signing up for our Patrons only podcast FemDom and Fetish Fun, where we discuss our personal scenes in detail and talk about what we have planned for the future. We also love your reviews on iTunes, or other podcast apps where available. You can also review our fellow Podcast Jukebox members, Off the Cuffs, Drinks with God and the Will Sean podcast.

Inspired by their own recent experiences and conversations Bakji and Floss discuss the fluidity of kink. We all know there are many kinks and fetishes to be discovered, but what happens when our favourites go out of favour and new passions evolve into something deeper? Floss has been thinking on this a lot lately, as it was her change feelings about a particular kink that started the conversation. Despite how often we talk about open and honest communication, and how we encourage people to be accepting and kind to themselves, it was still a tricky moment for Floss and hopes that in sharing it will help some of our listeners. While a lot of our discussion is based around the fluidity between switching roles, we also discuss the ebb and flow of kinks with a specific role and how as a couple or as play partners, the activities you enjoy most together can also change. We discuss how this has been for us and what our approach to it has been. We also reflect upon the kinks that have taken us by surprise, going from no interest in them, to curiosity or in some cases absolutely loving them. We are big believers is keeping ourselves open to new discoveries and experiences, and we hope this episode helps show why we think that’s important and how that approach has been extremely beneficial to us as individuals. We hope you enjoy this episode and as always if you have any feedback or questions please get in touch via hello@proudtobekinky.com. You can also follow us on: Twitter Instagram Fetlife Facebook You can also find us on Patreon where you can find our second podcast, FemDom and Fetish Fun, where we discuss the scenes we do, how we feel about all things FemDom and what we have coming up in terms of kinky fun. We are also part of the Podcast Jukebox Network, along with Off The Cuffs: a kink and BDSM podcast, the Will Sean Podcast and Drinks with God. We are all available on most podcast apps, and would love a great review and star rating from you if your chosen app supports this.

Eyal Matsliah is a sexual empowerment coach, and the author of ‘Orgasm Unleashed’ - a guide to pleasure, healing and power. So we left kink behind for an episode to focus on the wonder of orgasms and the joy they can bring. While the book is aimed at women, it is also suitable for anyone who is looking to enhance their orgasmic experience and better learn about the pleasure their body can bring them. We speak to Eyal about what inspires him to do the work he does, what kind of work he does within his coaching and mentoring sessions and the benefits we can gain from engaging in some of Eyal’s approaches.

Floss not being one to shy away from sharing her own personal orgasm tales, asks Eyal some questions based on her own experiences, that listeners have previously related to when discussed in other episodes. If you have struggled to orgasm, find masturbation uninspiring or wonder where in the day you meant to schedule time for self-indulgence, we asked Eyal about all these things in the hope the answers will be informative. We also discuss some of the areas in which we may feel disconnected from our sexuality, or our sexual empowerment and what we can do to overcome this to connect, explore and delve deeper within ourselves, hopefully leading to not only a more fulfilling sex life, but a more fulfilling life in general.

You can find out more about Eyal and the work he does via his website Intimate Power. You can also find links to his book and other resources there too.

http://www.intimatepower.com/

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Orgasm-Unleashed-guide-pleasure-healing-ebook/dp/B015L4D8M6

To contact us about this episode, or about anything else, you can do so via hello@proudtobekinky.com, or through our Instagram, Twitter and Fetlife Pages.

If you would like more of us, you can access our spin-off podcast FemDom and Fetish Fun, through our Patreon page. In FemDom and Fetish Fun Floss and Bakji discuss their mutual love of FemDom and all the sexy details of the scenes they en joy. We are also part of the Podcast Jukebox Network along with Off the Cuffs: a kink and BDSM podcast, Drinks with God and the Will Sean Podcast. We can all be found on most podcast apps, and we’d be lying if we said we don’t love awesome ratings and reviews. So please do send them our way if your app allows for them.

Rain DeGrey is an author, BDSM and sex educator and someone who has been fully immersed in kink lifestyle for the last decade. She has done shoots for kink.com and has experienced many, many kinks and is wonderfully open about discussing and sharing her information and experiences with others.

We discuss why Rain is so passionate about embracing a kink lifestyle and why she encourages other people to do the same and explore what it is about kink that they enjoy. Which given the ethos of our podcast is a perfect conversation for us to share with our listeners.

Rain shares with us another passion of hers, which is education. We talk about some of the classes she teaches, and how they have evolved over the years and what it is about doing her classes that is so rewarding.

We also talk about the wonderful exchange that exists between Tops and bottoms, and what we each bring to our interactions and how if each person involved isn’t fully present and invested in the exchange it may not be as successful as we’d like it to be.

If you’re listening to this episode and you still haven’t been to your local munch, but would like to go, get ready for some serious encouragement for why you should go, it’s nice that it’s not us saying it for a change but someone else.

As always you can get in touch about this episode or any previous episodes, by using our email hello@proudtobekinky.com. You can also send us any questions you might have about the podcast or about kink in general. We are also on Twitter, Instagram, Fetlife and Facebook and you are welcome to connect with us there too. As well as swinging by our Patreon for exclusive FemDom and Fetish Fun podcast episodes.  

We are also part of the Podcast Jukebox Network, along with Off the Cuffs: a kink and BDSM podcast, the Will Sean Podcast and Drinks with God. You can find all of us on iTunes and most other podcast apps, and if your chosen app allows for reviews and 5 star ratings then we are always very excited to receive those.

Bakji and Floss have been busy this year, not only with the podcast, but also with outings to Fetish events and indulging in sexy scenes at home. In this episode we discuss some of the things we’ve done this year.

Regular listeners of our spin-off podcast FemDom and Fetish Fun, will be familiar with some of the scenes we have enjoyed throughout 2017. Which ones have been our favourites though? We have each picked out Tops kink moments and discuss why they stand out for us.

As well as a little bit of reminiscing we also look to future kinky fun as we talk about what our kinky resolutions are for 2018. While we both pick very sexy things, we definitely have very different ideas of what we’d like to do next. So we should have an interesting year ahead.

As always we would love to hear from you, whether it is about this episode or with a questions for us, you can do that via hello@proudtobekinky.com. You can also find us on Twitter, instagram, Facebook and Fetlife.

If you would like to listen to the previously mentioned FemDom and Fetish Fun, you can do so through our Patreon Page.

We are also part of the Podcast Jukebox Network along with Off The Cuffs, The Will Sean Podcast and Drinks with God. Reviews are always appreciate from both us and the other shows on the network.

Safewords are this episodes topic of conversation. After Floss saw a few posts in a short space of time all about the same subject on Reddit, it seemed like the time was right for safewords to have their own episode.

• What are they?
• When you should you use them?
• Why should you use them?
• And should you ever feel bad or awkward about using them?

We are definitely in the group of people who feel like having a safeword is good thing, no matter who you are playing with, however when researching the topic online to make sure we were presenting the right information we did come across lots of people who don’t feel the need to use them, and we are certainly not saying one way is right and one is wrong, just that there are options to consider.

As well as general approaches to safewords we do discuss the ones we use personally and our own personal thoughts on them. We also discuss what we might do if someone used an unfamiliar safeword and what we would do if a safeword ended a scene.

For those people who are fans of clear communication and do not see a safeword as something they need, we talk about some situations where even people who can read each other well and communicate during scenes might find a safeword of use. We also touch upon nonverbal safewords and how you can check in on a partner who might be particularly sub-spacey and unable to communicate well.

While we appreciate that not all kinksters will want to use a safeword, it is definitely something that we should all be making an informed and considered decision on. Yet it still seems to be a topic that has people incredibly divided and has people new to the scene asking what teople new to the scene asking what the ‘right way’ is.

As with all episodes of you have any feedback for us you can email us via hello@proudtobekinky.com. You can also get in touch on any of our social media platforms:

Instagram

Twitter

Facebook

Fetlife

We also have a Patreon site, where you can access our spin-off podcast FemDom and Fetish Fun. Which is all about the sexy and kinky scene Bakji and I get up to behind closed doors.

We are also part of the Podcast Jukebox Network along with Off the Cuffs, Drinks with God and the Will Sean Podcast.

Shut The WOOF Up is a new podcast that is all about puppy play and the community and activities that it encompasses. The host Volka was kind enough to join us for an episode so that we could ask him all the questions we’ve had for ages about puppy play.

First things first, Volka has a sound effects board. I am sorry I failed to control Bakji, he far less pliable and a lot more defiant when fully clothed. You will hear a lot of sound effect, and I mean a lot. The good news is, we haven’t got a sound board. The bad news is, Bakji wants one. So watch this space.

Anyway, back to puppy play. Once you start bimbling around the kink community you start to comes across a variety of pet play, ponies, kittens and puppies are probably the most popular and puppy play is a community alongside but also separate from the kink community. There are pup munches, pup events and pup websites to help you meet other like minded pups and/or handlers.

Volka was extremely open, and wonderful about answering all our questions. Which means we were able to talk about exactly what being a pup might entail. Is it sexual? Is it platonic? Are there lady pups? What the devil do you do if you go to a pup event?

We also ask Volka all about his podcast, all about his personal dynamics, because we’re nosey like that and generally we had a blast and if you think puppy play might be for you, then you need this episode. If you don’t think it’s for you I’m pretty sure you will still find much hilarity within this conversation.

Links discussed during the show are as follows:

Shut The WOOF Up

Puppy Pride

RubberDawg Custom Hoods

As we always say because it is 100% true, please get in touch, we love hearing from you, whether it’s feedback, questions, or just something daft. You can find us and reach out to us on any of the following:

Twitter/proudtobekinky

Instagram/proudtobekinky

Fetlife/proudtobekinky

Facebook/proudtobekinky

You can also swing by our Patreon site where you can hear more from us in our episodes of FemDom and Fetish Fun, our spin-off podcast all about our kinky scenes that we enjoy together.

If you’re looking for new podcasts to enjoy you can listen to our fellow Podcast Jukebox Network shows, Off the Cuffs, Drinks with God and the Will Sean podcast. We will have new shows joining us soon too. We all love reviews and 5 star ratings, if you haven’t done that yet but would like to do so, then thank you in advance

Princess Kali is our guest for this episode and we could not have been more excited to speak to her. Her book Enough To Make You Blush was one of Floss’ early and favourite resources when she was beginning her journey into FemDom. Getting to talk to people whose work we genuinely enjoy is one of the awesome bonuses of doing the podcast.

Princess Kali has been on many podcasts discussing not only her book, but also sharing her approach to Domination and her work with Kink Academy. Which is another great resource for kink education. This however did mean that thinking up new and interesting questions for her was a tricky task. That said though we are really excited to bring you this episode and feel like we’ve got some great information to share with you.

Humiliation can sometimes be a kink that many people will respond to with ‘Oh yeah, I’m not into that’, with a little bit of exploration though there can often be many fun and erotic entry points for us to explore the vast variety of erotic humiliation. From mild embarrassment to hardcore degradation.

While we had Princess Kali with us we tried to get you the best information we could on why people might engage in erotic humiliation and what potential elements of it you might find pleasure in, whether that is as a Top or as a bottom. We also discuss how to get the conversation started if you feel like you’d like to explore erotic humiliation but have no idea where to begin.

If you would like to find out more about Princess Kali and Enough To Make You Blush you can do so by using the following links: 

enoughtomakeyoublush.com

twitter.com/Princess_Kali

instagram.com/enoughtomakeyoublush

kinkacademy.com 

As always if you have any feedback on this episode you can contact us via hello@proudtobekinky.com or you can reach out using any of our social media platforms: 

twitter.com/proudtobekinky

instagram.com/proudtobekinky

facebook.com/proudtobekinky

fetlife.com/proudtobekinky

patreon.com/proudtobekinky

We are also part of the Podcast Jukebox Network along with Off The Cuffs, Drinks with God and the Will Sean Podcast. We are all available on most podcast apps and if you listen on a platform that allows reviews then please do leave a wonderful 5 star review.

While red flags usually refers to those behaviors that would signal  relationship is unsafe or unhealthy, in this episode we are discussing those things that are incompatibility red flags. Things that have in the past, or would in the future signal to us that a relationship isn’t as well suited to us as we had hoped it might be.

Over the years we have both been in these relationships ourselves, as well as having many friends put up with varying levels of incompatibility, when we’ve looked at our reasons for staying or enquired with friends why they themselves stayed the answer is always a variation on the same thing ‘what if I don’t find anyone else who’s kinky/does the things I like sexually’.

We are are big believers that no-one should be stuck in an unhappy relationship for fear of not finding someone else to indulge in their kinks with. We also know though that it’s definitely easier said than done, especially if you’re new to exploring your kink and suddenly finding someone who is into them too feels like it’s too good to be true. We are really passionate about people investing in the right people for them, and having not only a good kink dynamic but also a good friendship and relationship beyond that too.

We discuss some of the things that would be incompatibility red flags for us personally, and alternatively the green flags that make us delighted to spend time with someone. These are likely to be different for everyone, so we’re not saying take ours to heart and follow them religiously. We do however hope people are mindful of their own situations and surround themselves with good people and nourishing relationships, be they romantic or platonic.

As always if you have any feedback on this episode or on the podcast in general you can email us on hello@proudtobekinky.com. You can also follow us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and Fetlife.

We are also on Patreon, which you can find by using the following link www.patreon.com/proudtobekinky. Where you can find or spin-off podcast FemDom and Fetish Fun, where we discuss our own kinky scenes.

#ProudToBeKinky is also part of the Podcast Jukebox Network along with Off The Cuffs, Drinks with God, Parking Lot Radio and the Will Sean Podcast.

DaveCat is our guest for this week's episode and we were delighted to have him on the show, having heard him on a couple of other podcasts. Part of doing the podcast was to not only talk about Kinks, Fetishes and elements of BDSM, but also to talk to people who have alternative lifestyles, alternative relationships models or just generally express themselves in a way some people may not be familiar with.

 DaveCat joined us with his wife Sidore, they also have two other partners living with them, Elena and Miss Winter. Sidore, Elena and Miss Winter are all synthetic women, or real dolls. DaveCat shares how he came to welcome Sidore into his life, 17 years ago, and how Elena and Miss Winter joined them in more recent years.

As big fans of finding a community that you feel comfortable in, and one in which you can hopefully find like minded people, we ask DaveCat about the idollator community, and what kinds of online and offline support and advice is available, especially to those people who are just beginning their journey, either with a synthetic partner or with a view to finding one.

We also talk about some of the documentaries DaveCat has featured on, all of which are listed on the media portion of his website which is listed below. While TV often does it’s best to sensationalise any given topic,  it feels like shows like ours, Off the Cuffs and many other awesome shows are hopefully a less biased platform for people to learn about new things, whether they are into it themselves or not.

There is so much more we talk to DaveCat about, far too much to squeeze into one blog post without spoiling the episode for you. We hope you enjoy this episode though and  if you have any feedback you can contact us on our email hello@proudtobekinky.com, or find us on Twitter, Instagram, Fetlife or Facebook.

 

You can also find support us on Patreon, https://www.patreon.com/proudtobekinky, where you can find our spin-off podcast FemDom and Fetish Fun. You can also leave us an awesome 5 star reviews if you listen on iTunes/Apple Podcast App. We are also part of the Podcast Jukebox Network with Off the Cuffs, Drinks with God, Parking Lot Radio and the Will sean Podcast, who you might also enjoy tuning into.

 

Links:

DaveCat’s Blog - www.kuroneko-chan.com/echoes/

DaveCat on Twitter  - https://twitter.com/Davecat

Sidore on Twitter - https://twitter.com/leahtype

Anatomical Doll - http://www.anatomicaldoll.com/start_en.php

Love and Sex with Robots by David Levy

Ourdollcommunity.com

Kinky scenes for us can be anything from an impromptu handjob to a more elaborate and lengthier session. Either way we always enjoy them and we’ve had a fair bit of scene variety in our time playing together.

When we record FemDom and Fetish Fun, the spin-off podcast we release for our Patrons, we discuss our scenes in quite a lot of detail. Off the back of that we have had a couple of people ask where we get our ideas, and wondering how they can better plan and make the most of their own kinky fun.

We have both approached taking control of a scene as relatively newbies to Topping, and we know it can feel really daunting, so we try to cover how you can take charge of the acre and make it fun without feeling overwhelmed and worried about whether or not it’s fun.

Floss especially took great pleasure in researching a variety of approaches to FemDom to give her a bit more confidence when it came to scene inspiration. Kinky porn was a treasure trove of inspiration and had led to many new discoveries and fab ideas.

As always you can send feedback on this episode to hello@proudtobekinky.com, or through any of our social media platforms. We’re also happy to answer any kink related questions you might have if you feel we can help in anyway.

We are also part of the Podcast Jukebox Network along with Off the Cuffs, Drinks with God, Parking Lot Radio and the Will Sean Podcast. You can find us all on most podcast apps and if you listen through your Apple podcast app you can also leave us a lovely review.

Aurora Glory joins us for this episode. Yes that is right, we have a guest with us again. We were delighted to have the chance to chat to Aurora, about everything from sex toys, to lube and of course blogging.   We start off this episode with a very important question. That you won’t want to miss. A long and earth shattering debate is finally put to rest. Want to know more, then you will have to listen in. Once that is cleared up though we move onto the juicy stuff .. sex toys. We ask Aurora how she got started with reviewing sex toys, and how that led to her starting a blog.   Floss has got her own fair share of sex toys nestled away in the bedroom, and wondered if she was alone in her favourite not being the high-quality toys people usually mentions a favourites. Turns out she is alone in this. Aurora’s favourite toy is definitely one of the higher quality and well recommended toys. One that Floss doesn’t have but is keen to get.   While we all know sex toys are more popular than ever, and rightly so. There do seem to be some other things that still aren’t the norm to use when it comes to masturbating and for sexual encounters with a partner, and one of those things is lube. We talk to Aurora about what it is she loves about reviewing lube, and discuss why it is that so many people still aren’t regular users.   The day before we spoke to Aurora her blog turned one! So we obviously couldn’t let the conversation pass without having a chat about her blog too. We discussed what inspired her to start a blog, whether or not it has been what she imagined and what her plans for the future of her blog are. We also ask what her top tips would be for anyone out there who is looking to start a blog.   You can find Aurora in the following places:  

• Blog - byauroraglory.com/
• Instagram - instagram.com/auroragloryblog/
• Twitter - twitter.com/AuroraGloryBlog

  You can of course find us in those same places to, our website is also now up and running so you can go to www.proudtobekinky.com and read our blog posts there as well as in our show notes. To find us on other social media platforms simply search for proudtobekinky, all one word, no spaces. However if you would like to find us on Patreon, you will need to click on the following link, www.patreon.com/proudtobekinky, Due to us being an NSFW account you cannot search for our content.   As regular listeners will know we are part of the Podcast Jukebox Network, along with our friends from Off the Cuffs, Drinks with God, Parking Lot Radio and the Will Sean Podcast. We are all available on most podcast apps, and only two of us are kink related shows, so if your interests vary do check the other shows out too.

Happy Birthday to us. That’s right, we have now been releasing episodes for you for one whole year and what a year it has been. We went back and forth with lots of ideas for this episode, but we decided to get back to basics a little bit and discuss the things that we are constantly repeating and go into detail about why we say them and how you can go about acting on the advice should you wish to.   In episode one, Bakji and friend of the show BlueBen discussed how to make kinky friends. Floss recently gave this episode another listen, and was impressed overall that for a first episode it was pretty darn good, but also felt that we could tweak some of the advice after a year of not only podcasting, but also of getting more involved with the community ourselves as well.   In a good chunk of our episodes we say ‘go to a munch’, so we revisit this and discuss why we say that and what benefits we see to munches. We also address the fact that your first munch isn’t always going to be life changing and what to do if the munch you attend isn’t what you hoped for.   We also tackle Fetish events. Which in episode were discussed on the basis of go with friends only. However in the time we have been doing the podcast I have learnt that many larger events are doing meet and greets before the event kicks off, and we’ve also discovered that many smaller events do allow for more of a chance to socialise and meet new people.   Fetlife gets a mention as do our friends over at TheCage.co, as we talk about how best to navigate online platforms and what their uses are. This leads us to a bit of a discussion, where Floss might be a bit ranty about how certain people conduct themselves when sending messages online.   There is also some fun and frivolity, we both talk about some of our favourite episodes, things we love about doing the podcast and what, if anything we’ve learnt in the past year.   This podcast has become a huge part of our lives, and it’s been an unbelievable amount of hard work, but it has been worth every minute of it. Through the podcast we have connected with amazing people all across the world, some of those people have been guests, some listeners and we are so happy to say that many of them have turned into wonderful friends.   For anyone who has missed Floss’ social media posts about us turning one, we just want to say a big thank you to everyone who has listened, given feedback, supported and encouraged us. Each and every one of you has made this experience even better and we can’t wait to see what the next year of podcasting brings.   As always you can contact us via hello@proudtobekinky.com, you can also contact us on Twitter, instagram, Fetlife and Facebook. You can also swing by our Patreon page, and check out our spinoff podcast FemDom and Fetish Fun. As well as our new feature that is coming soon Aftercare Sandwich.   We are also part of the Podcast Jukebox Network, with Off The Cuffs, Drinks with God, Parking Lot Radio and the Will Sean Podcast. You can find us all on most podcast apps, and if you listen on the Apple Podcast app you can leave us all an awesome 5 star review.

Pain play and sensation play are our focus this week. We discuss what we mean when we talk about Sadism and masochism, and how pain can be sexy and what you can do if you’d like to try some new sensations but don’t think pain is for you.   We have mini debate over what classes as sexy pain, stingy, thuddy or something else entirely. This leads to us having a bit of a run through of what the difference between the two is, and why they lead to different sensations.   While many us might identify as a Sadist or a masochist, or perhaps like Floss you’re a bit of both and like to claim the Sadomasochist label, that doesn’t we all enjoy pain in the same way though. Both Bakji and Floss enjoy pain in very different ways, and their approach to pain play also differs greatly. We discuss our own personal takes on pain, what we enjoy and why we enjoy it.   As we always say we’re not experts when it comes to the kinks we discuss, but we do try to share what safety and instructional information we do have. We do highly recommend though that if you are looking to engage in some of the things discussed for the first time that you do your research and due diligence before diving straight into the action. If you need any further information and you’re not sure where to find it, do please get in touch.   The focus of this episode does fall a lot toward the pain play side of things, however we are aware that some people really aren’t into pain at all, but may enjoy different sensations during a scene, so we try to cover some of those too.   You can as always send feedback for this episode via our email hello@proudtobekinky.com, or our social media platforms; Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and Fetlife. You can also visit us at our Patreon page, www.patreon.com/proudtobekinky, where you can find our spin-off podcast, FemDom and Fetish Fun.   We are also part of the Podcast Jukebox Network along with Off the Cuffs, Drinks with God, the Will Sean Podcast and Parking Lot Radio. We are all available on Apple podcast and most other podcast apps, if you chose player allows for reviews please do leave one for us as it really is helpful in letting other people know we are worth a listen.

Bisexuality is our topic for today, inspired by the recent bi-visibility week and ally week, Floss asked Bakji if she could hijack an episode to discuss being bisexual. This is a bit of a one sided episode as Bakji as a straight man doesn’t have his own experience of being bisexual. He is however a great ally and was happy for Floss to get on her soapbox for episode to air her views. [caption id="attachment_1889" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Bisexuality Flag[/caption]   Floss gives her own definition of being bisexual, which is definitely at odds with the dictionary definition. As we say in the episode though, we think it’s really important not to invalidate someone else’s identity and experience by saying their bisexuality isn’t the same as yours and therefore it doesn’t count. We also briefly reflect on comparisons and difference between pansexuality and bisexuality. Again the dictionary definition seems to greatly differ from what people in the LGBTQIA+ community are saying, so Floss gives her best attempt at explaining each based on definitions she has been given by people who identify in those ways, with us all being different though these means there isn’t always a one fits all explanation. Bisexual erasure is one of the reasons we decided to this episode. Bisexual people are often ignored, removed, re-explained and falsified, both in the media and within everyday society. This is why many bisexual people have experienced the feeling that their sexuality isn't valid or ‘real’. The continued perpetuating of bisexual erasure means that many of us have experienced and continue to experience being subjected to comments surrounding the various myths of being bisexual. From the myth that we don’t exist, to tales of promiscuity and lack of commitment. The bisexual myths are rife. As we recorded, and when we have discussed this in the past, Bakji has often explained ‘no-one has ever really said that?’ The fact of the matter is that nearly every bisexual person I’ve ever spoken to has had the majority of bisexual myths aimed in their direction. Which make the comment of ‘your just doing it for attention’ hilarious, because the attention we get as an openly bisexual person is usually negative. That said however, this episode is predominantly about Floss’ experience, so your bisexual journey will look different, and we are definitely not saying one size fits all. If you have a different experience that you would like to share with us then please do get in touch. As always you can contact us on hello [at] proudtobekinky.com. You can also reach out via Instagram, Twitter, Fetlife and Facebook. You can also find us on Patreon, www.patreon.com/proudtobekinky where for $2 a month you can get access to our spin-off podcast FemDom and Fetish Fun, where Bakji and Floss discuss their kinky scene in great and sexy detail. We are also part of the Podcast Jukebox Network, along with Off the Cuffs, Drinks with God, Parking Lot Radio and the Will Sean Podcast. If you podcast app allows for reviews and rating, we are always grateful for anyone who takes the time to give us an awesome review.

Switching is the topic of this episode. When we are on our travels to events and meeting new friends people are often full of questions regarding our Switch dynamic. We were so excited a while back that this could be a great episode that we eagerly sat down to record it, only to discover it was not good. So this is our second attempt, inspired by a comment from one of our Patrons. We start right from the beginning and cover what switching is, and how we both came to identify as a switch. We also discuss whether or not switches even exist! Which is unfortunately an ongoing conversation amongst some people. Spoiler alert … We absolutely do exist. One of the other question we asked a lot is how we manage our switch dynamic and find the balance for us both getting our fix on either side of the slash. For us it’s probably less about balance and more about communicating what we are currently in the mood for. Which means there often isn’t much of a balance at all, but our approach is that if we are both happy and enjoying ourselves that is more important than an equal 50/50 split of activities. While we are both switches we came to that realisation at very different points of our kink journeys, so we talk about what switching is for us personally and how we perceive that role in our own personal way and what it is we enjoy about switching.   It would be almost impossible to talk about switching without addressing some of the myths about switches, and some of the reasons it might have a slight stigma attached to it. This also includes why some people might run into problems when playing with another switch. Even though we think it is crazy awesome, we do understand some of the issues people might face. As always if you have any feedback on this episode or any others, you can get in touch via hello [at] proudtobekinky.com, or via any of our social media platforms; Instagram, Twitter, Fetlife and Facebook. We love all your comments and continuing our episode conversations with you once we’ve released them out into the world. If you feel like you need extra episode in your life you can swing by our Patreon account and for $2 a month you can get access to our spin-off podcast FemDom and Fetish Fun. Which was meant to be 10 minute episode here and there, but has now turned into full blown episodes on a weekly basis. Where Bakji and I discuss the ins and outs of our sexy and kinky shenanigans. We are also part of the Podcast Jukebox Network along with Off The Cuffs: a kink and BDSM podcast, the Will Sean podcast, Drinks with God and Parking Lot Radio. So please do check them out if you haven’t and head to itune to give them and us awesome 5 star reviews.

Bakji and Floss return without a guest this weeks to discuss the internal conflicts some of our kinks might cause us to have. Inspired by a post Floss saw on Reddit, where the poster wanted to be submissive and also humiliated and degraded yet felt this was at odds with her feminist views. We decided that this was a great topic of discussion because there are many kinks that often highlight this issue, in some way shape or form. Probably a lot more than we could cover in one short episode. So many of our views on our kinks seem to be shaped by the environment we grew up, and how previous partners have reacted, so what seems like a perfectly acceptable kink to one person, might cause all kinds of conflicts in another. As well as discussing some of the kinks that most often seem to crop up in this line of thought, we also talk about whether these feelings are part of the reason some of us take our time to find our way to the kink community. While we have both had a fair while to adjust to our own kinks and on the whole feel very comfortable and excited by them, however we have to make our own adjustments when it comes to exploring new kinks and also in enjoying long standing kinks a little less, so we talk about those a little too and how we’ve approached those situations personally. This topic of conversation also bring us round to the subject of how we think our kinks developes. While it could probably be a whole episode in and of itself we do discuss it a little bit. Both Bakji and Floss are now playing with similar kinks, how long we have been kinky and how we discovered them are very different journeys. We have had loads of lovely messages the past couple of weeks, please keep them coming if you have anything you’d like to share with us. Whether is comments on the show, questions or advice on kink or a topic you’d like us to cover. You can get in touch with us on any of the following platforms: hello [at] proudtobekinky.com Instagram Twitter Facebook Fetlife We are also part of the Podcast Jukebox Network, so you can check out our sister shows Off The Cuffs: a kink and BDSM podcast, the Will Sean Podcast, Drinks with God and Parking Lot Radio.

Eva from TheCage.co is our guest today. The cage is a social networking site and online community for people interested in kink, BDSM and Fetish. It has been going for just over a year and now and we invited Eva along to tell us a little bit more about it. [caption id="attachment_1112" align="aligncenter" width="300"] www.thecage.co[/caption] As well as talking about TheCage.co, we also wanted to talk to Eva a little bit about online D/s. When it came up in a thread on Twitter Floss realised it wasn’t something we had ever really discussed on the podcast and as it is popular within the kink community we felt it was something we should be talking about.   When Floss started to do some research for this episode to gather some questions together for Eva, she discover that the world of online D/s is not easy to find good and supportive information on. In any forum where a question on online D/s was asked there were two automatic responses 1. An assumption you'll eventually move into in person D/s and 2. Disparaging comments about the discussion to opt for online D/s.   We discuss whether the huge divide between online and offline D/s is really necessary and whether or not we shouldn’t just be supporting everyone who wants to explore their kinks regardless of that being online or locally at munch.   Eva gives us some tips and advice for those people who are looking to explore their kinks with an online friend or partner. There are unfortunately a lot of scammers out there and we do want everyone to play safe, this means looking after yourself in both face to face encounters but also there are lots of things to consider when playing online too.   We also discuss some general kinks topics and we obviously introduce Eva to the wonderful world of Quick Fire Questions. It was a delight to chat to Eva, so please do go along and give TheCage.co a little visit and see what you can find there to entertain you.   As always if you have any feedback you can email us on hello@proudtobekinky.com. You can also follow us and message us on social media.We are on Instagram, Twitter, Fetlife and Facebook. You can also find us on Patreon by searching for ‘proudtobekinky’, you can find our Patron only podcast FemDom and Fetish Fun there, where Bakji and I spare no details when discussing our kinky scenes.   We are also Part of the Podcast Jukebox Network along with Off The Cuffs, the Will Sean Podcast, Parking Lot Radio and Drinks with God. If you listen on Apple Podcast you can leave any of us a wonderful review should be feeling generous.

Shibari is something we might have mentioned once or twice before on the podcast and because there are so many different voices to hear on it we are revisiting it again. This time with the lovely Evie Vane, a rope bottom who has written two books The Little Guide to Getting Tied Up and Better Bondage for Every Body.

Evie has been into rope for about 7 years and in that time has gathered lots of experience and information that she is now sharing with other people. It can be easy to talk yourself out of giving rope a try, it can seem very technical and often the images we see of rope bottoms in rope do not always feel relatable for some people. Evie’s latest book definitely supports the notion that rope can be for everyone.

Shibari does have many ties that you can learn step by step, there’s knots and frictions and wraps, and unfamiliar names for many things, essentially though what many of us are learning and seeking is a connection with our rope partner. That partner might be someone we will only tie once, or it might be our romantic or sexual partner, either way the connection and feelings we can explore through rope are vast.

We ask Evie what her advice would be for anyone looking to explore rope, so if you’re sat at home and you still haven’t found the encouragement you need to get out there and try rope in some way, then perhaps Evie’s episode can be the push you need. We also discuss what you can do if you’re already a bottom but feel like there are areas you would like to work on, for example flexibility or stamina.

If there any aspect of rope we haven’t covered yet that you would like to hear us discuss then please email us via hello@proudtobekinky.com. You can also get in touch on any of our social media platforms, Instagram, Twitter, Fetlife or Facebook.

You can also find Evie on social media too, her links are as follows:

Evie's Website - ropebottoming.com

Evie Vane on Facebook

Evie Vane on Fetlife

Evie’s Books on Amazon

We are also part of the Podcast Jukebox Network, if you’d like to listen to our fellow network shows they are Off the Cuffs: a kink and BDSM podcast, Drinks with God, the Will Sean Podcast and Parking Lot Radio.

The Queen of Fetish Cabaret, Marnie Scarlet joins us for this episode and we couldn’t be more excited to chat with her. We have had the pleasure of seeing a couple of Marnie’s performances and they do not disappoint. Please do check them out. Links will be provided at the end of this post.

Latex is possibly one of the first things we noticed about Marnie, because as we may have mentioned once or twice we have both got the hots for the lovely shiny rubbery stuff. Which means we obviously asked Marnie all about making her outfits. If you haven’t seen her outfits yet, once you do you will be utterly amazed by her creations. They are gorgeous, fun, inventive and beautifully crafted.

There is a huge variety of themes across all Marnie’s acts, so we discuss where she gets her inspiration from and how her ideas go from that to a full performance piece. We also go right back to the beginning and find out how Marnie came to start performing, both within the kink scene and out of it. The type of events and countries she often travels to come up as well, so if you’re an international listener and think you might miss out on seeing Marnie live, you may be in luck, one day she might be performing at an event near you.

Marnie was recently featured in some mainstream newspapers in her outfit for London Pride. I cannot blame them for this, it was a brilliant outfit. #prideoutfitgoals for sure. With this is mind, and in light of the fact Marnie also takes her performances in non-fetish settings, we ask about the reception she receives from the non-kinky folk.

As well as checking out Marnie on social media, which once again I will recommend you definitely do, you can also come and find us on social media if you haven’t already. We are on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and Fetlife. You are welcome to connect with us across all those platforms and you can also email us on hello@proudtobekinky.

We are also part of the Podcast Jukebox Network, so please do pop along to our sister podcasts Off The Cuffs: a kink and BDSM podcast, the Will Sean Podcast, Drinks with God and Parking Lot Radio. If you like any of those guys please do leave them a little review and of course us too if you haven’t done so already.

 

Links:

https://www.youtube.com/user/MarnieScarletDiva

https://www.instagram.com/marniescarlet/

https://www.facebook.com/Marnie-Scarlet-115777641825019

Anatomie Studios are the focus of this week's episode as we talk to Anna Bones, who opened and runs Anatomie, the U.K’s only full time rope studio. Open since June 2015, Anatomie has gone from strength to strength and provides a safe and welcoming environment for people to learn and practice their Shibari skills.

We ask Anna how she started her own journey into discovering Shibari, and how that led to the opening of Anatomie. We have spoken about Anatomie before in previous episodes but it was wonderful to hear about it in Anna’s own words, from initial vision to eventual reality.

There are a variety of sessions available at Anatomie, some are geared towards learning, some towards practice and some are neither of the two. I will let you listen in to hear Anna discuss the various things you can discover at Anatomie.

We discuss the value in joining your local rope community, and what you can gain from learning from both people like Anna and her partner Fred Hatt who offer tuition at Anatomie and also from peers. There are also a myriad of wonderful Riggers out there who offer rope tutorial workshops, many of which can be found at Anatomie.

Nearly everyone has some preconceptions about rope before they try it, we talk through what some of these are and the pleasant surprises you get once you actually join the rope community. Some of these include the tactile and wonderful nature of the rope itself, and also the reasons behind why many of us do rope.

Anatomie Studio have been accepted into the Peckham Festival, happening 14th - 17th September 2017, which gives us a chance to discuss how Anna and Fred are received when they take Shibari into the world of non-kinky folk. They have also done rope for music videos and art projects.

There is so much more in our discussion with Anna, and so much to discover at Anatomie Studio if you are able to visit. If however you’re not able to visit Anatomie please do get in touch with you local rope community if you are keen to get into Shibari and meet friend who are also rope fans.

You can find Anatomie Studio in the following places:

https://anatomiestudio.com/

https://twitter.com/AnatomieStudio

https://www.instagram.com/anatomiestudiolondon/

https://www.peckhamfestival.org/

https://fetlife.com/users/4595864

If you would like to find us on social media you can do so via Instagram, Twitter, Fetlife and Facebook. You can also follow the link on Fetlife to our personal profiles and add us there too should you wish to. As always you are also welcome to email us too on hello@proudtobekinky.com and if you go to flossdoeslife.com you can get in touch with us via the contact page, even if it is about the podcast and not the blog.

We are also still after your reviews, so if you are listening on Apple Podcasts please do leave us a star rating and a review, preferably a lovely one, if you think we’ve earned it of course. You can also do the same for our fellow Podcast Jukebox Network shows should you be enjoying them too. They are Off the Cuffs, Parking Lot Radio, Drinks with God and the Will Sean Podcast.

Twisted Lingerie was mentioned by TheWickedJade back in episode 28. Which brought them to our attention, we then started following them on Instagram and Twitter because quite honestly it all looked super sexy and I have my eye on it for future purchases.

What actually transpired though was some mutual exchanges on Twitter, and I started to get a really good vibe from the Twisted brand and decided that they would make a great podcast guest. Thankfully Sophie who founded and owns the twisted lingerie brand decided that she would like to give this podcasting malarkey a go and here we are.

Twisted Lingerie is a fetish inspired brand, which can be seen throughout their collections. It’s provocative and seductive, but also affordable. We ask Sophie what inspired her to start Twisted, and how it moved from a thought to an active business.

One of the things that prompted me to invite Sophie onto the podcast was the community spirit of the Twisted Lingerie Twitter feed. Not only is it body positive, it’s also kink positive, two things we feel really passionate about. There are lots of tweets supporting and encouraging people and that is something we are keen to advocate.

We ask Sophie about her recent appearance at the Diamonds and Deals Conference for women in business where she gave a talk. Which leads us onto talking about supporting women in business, sexual empowerment and how sometimes women can feel the need to be apologetic for things they want out of life, and that actually we all feel that should not be the case.

Body positivity and body shaming get an airing again, because let’s be honest we probably can’t talk about these things enough, not just as a podcast but as a community. We discuss how things like lingerie, and shibari can sometimes pave the way to us feeling a little bit more love for our bodies and how important that is.

I shall let you discover the rest of the show for yourself, but if you have any comments on this episode or previous episodes please do get in touch via hello@proudtobekinky.com. You can also send us any general kink questions, or suggestions for episodes or guests you might like us to cover. You can also follow us on Instagram, Twitter, Fetlife and Facebook. If Patreon is your thing you can also visit us there too https://www.patreon.com/proudtobekinky where you will find our spin-off podcast FemDom and Fetish Fun.

We are also part of the Podcast Jukebox Network with Off the Cuffs, Drinks with God, Parking Lot Radio and the Will Sean Podcast. Please do give them a listen and leave us all lovely reviews if you think we have earned them. Which we definitely have. We’re all awesome.

Links from the show:

• Twisted Lingerie's Website
• Twisted Lingerie on Twitter
• Twisted Lingerie on Instagram
• Sh! Womens Erotic Emporium
• Sex at the Museum by Sarah Forbes.

Communication is our topic this week, as Bakji and I (Floss) go it alone to share their thoughts on the importance of communicating with your partner. Our private conversations over the last few weeks have come back round to communication on many occasions. Both reflecting on how communicating with previous partners has been more difficult than we felt it should be, and why we thought that might be.

We discuss why communication is so important especially within the kink community, be that with a casual play partner or within an established dynamic. Whether you are wanting to talk about sexual desires, kinky desires or your relationship as a whole, we cover how there is often a time and place for these discussions and how sensitivity and empathy is a must.

Face to face, over the phone, Whatsapp, Trello and Instagram are all methods of communicating Bakji and I have used in our time together. I always feel that as adults we are meant to be totally down with face to face communication, but I’m here to say, sod that. Sort of. I think if something is making you feel anxious when it comes to discussing it, and you can find a more comfortable way to express yourself that will move things forward, then why not do it.

That said myself and Bakji have both become a lot better at actually using our words and communicating with each other both the good, the not so good, and of the course the kinky, sexy awesomeness. We discuss how this has helped our relationship, and what we think made communicating with each other different to previous relationships.

We reflect on how our experiences of talking about sex and physical desires in our younger years are very different. We wonder if this is a gender divide, or a throwback to when women were actively discouraged from embracing and enjoying their sexuality and having their sexual needs and want wasn’t seen as the done thing.

The Top/bottom dynamic also extends outside of kink dynamics and into non-kink sexual interactions, we do feel though that isn’t explored outside of the kink community and therefore it can sometimes be hard to express your needs without those terms at your disposal to help explain the nuances of what it is you're looking for.

Things get mildly controversial as we discuss the importance of sexual attraction and desire in life, and how romantic love sometimes gets prioritised when it isn’t necessarily the most important thing for everyone. We talk about how knowing what is important to you is what matters most and being able to express that without feeling guilty is essential.

If you have any thoughts yourself on this week's episode, or any others please do get in touch with us. You can contact us via hello@proudtobekinky, or you can hit social media and find us on Instagram, Twitter, Fetlife and Facebook. We have had some truly wonderful messages recently and they have made us smile from ear to ear, and one may have brought a tear to my eye.

When you’ve caught up on all the episodes of #ProudToBeKinky and you’re looking for somethign else to listen to check out our friends in the Podcast Jukebox Network. Off the Cuffs, Drinks with God, Parking Lot Radio and the Will Sean podcast. They are all fabulous for different reasons, but well worth a listen.