ProudToBeKinky Podcast

Welcome to the #ProudToBeKinky Podcast where we discuss the social and interpersonal side of kink, BDSM, fetish and alternative sexualities. We know it's scary, getting out there and trying to meet a like-minded kinky partner. “What if my friends find out?”, “What will people at work say?” Well you know what... it IS possible and we know because we did it. Now we share our adventures with you. We're not here to gossip... we just want to spread positivity and share with you what worked for us. Helping you in your endeavour to find a dom, sub, play-partner, top, bottom, boyfriend, girlfriend or even just some friends with the same consensual fetishes as you. Please enjoy #ProudToBeKinky.
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Aug 30, 2017

The Queen of Fetish Cabaret, Marnie Scarlet joins us for this episode and we couldn’t be more excited to chat with her. We have had the pleasure of seeing a couple of Marnie’s performances and they do not disappoint. Please do check them out. Links will be provided at the end of this post.

Latex is possibly one of the first things we noticed about Marnie, because as we may have mentioned once or twice we have both got the hots for the lovely shiny rubbery stuff. Which means we obviously asked Marnie all about making her outfits. If you haven’t seen her outfits yet, once you do you will be utterly amazed by her creations. They are gorgeous, fun, inventive and beautifully crafted.

There is a huge variety of themes across all Marnie’s acts, so we discuss where she gets her inspiration from and how her ideas go from that to a full performance piece. We also go right back to the beginning and find out how Marnie came to start performing, both within the kink scene and out of it. The type of events and countries she often travels to come up as well, so if you’re an international listener and think you might miss out on seeing Marnie live, you may be in luck, one day she might be performing at an event near you.

Marnie was recently featured in some mainstream newspapers in her outfit for London Pride. I cannot blame them for this, it was a brilliant outfit. #prideoutfitgoals for sure. With this is mind, and in light of the fact Marnie also takes her performances in non-fetish settings, we ask about the reception she receives from the non-kinky folk.

As well as checking out Marnie on social media, which once again I will recommend you definitely do, you can also come and find us on social media if you haven’t already. We are on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and Fetlife. You are welcome to connect with us across all those platforms and you can also email us on hello@proudtobekinky.

We are also part of the Podcast Jukebox Network, so please do pop along to our sister podcasts Off The Cuffs: a kink and BDSM podcast, the Will Sean Podcast, Drinks with God and Parking Lot Radio. If you like any of those guys please do leave them a little review and of course us too if you haven’t done so already.



Aug 24, 2017

Anatomie Studios are the focus of this week's episode as we talk to Anna Bones, who opened and runs Anatomie, the U.K’s only full time rope studio. Open since June 2015, Anatomie has gone from strength to strength and provides a safe and welcoming environment for people to learn and practice their Shibari skills.

We ask Anna how she started her own journey into discovering Shibari, and how that led to the opening of Anatomie. We have spoken about Anatomie before in previous episodes but it was wonderful to hear about it in Anna’s own words, from initial vision to eventual reality.

There are a variety of sessions available at Anatomie, some are geared towards learning, some towards practice and some are neither of the two. I will let you listen in to hear Anna discuss the various things you can discover at Anatomie.

We discuss the value in joining your local rope community, and what you can gain from learning from both people like Anna and her partner Fred Hatt who offer tuition at Anatomie and also from peers. There are also a myriad of wonderful Riggers out there who offer rope tutorial workshops, many of which can be found at Anatomie.

Nearly everyone has some preconceptions about rope before they try it, we talk through what some of these are and the pleasant surprises you get once you actually join the rope community. Some of these include the tactile and wonderful nature of the rope itself, and also the reasons behind why many of us do rope.

Anatomie Studio have been accepted into the Peckham Festival, happening 14th - 17th September 2017, which gives us a chance to discuss how Anna and Fred are received when they take Shibari into the world of non-kinky folk. They have also done rope for music videos and art projects.

There is so much more in our discussion with Anna, and so much to discover at Anatomie Studio if you are able to visit. If however you’re not able to visit Anatomie please do get in touch with you local rope community if you are keen to get into Shibari and meet friend who are also rope fans.

You can find Anatomie Studio in the following places:

If you would like to find us on social media you can do so via Instagram, Twitter, Fetlife and Facebook. You can also follow the link on Fetlife to our personal profiles and add us there too should you wish to. As always you are also welcome to email us too on and if you go to you can get in touch with us via the contact page, even if it is about the podcast and not the blog.

We are also still after your reviews, so if you are listening on Apple Podcasts please do leave us a star rating and a review, preferably a lovely one, if you think we’ve earned it of course. You can also do the same for our fellow Podcast Jukebox Network shows should you be enjoying them too. They are Off the Cuffs, Parking Lot Radio, Drinks with God and the Will Sean Podcast.

Aug 17, 2017

Twisted Lingerie was mentioned by TheWickedJade back in episode 28. Which brought them to our attention, we then started following them on Instagram and Twitter because quite honestly it all looked super sexy and I have my eye on it for future purchases.

What actually transpired though was some mutual exchanges on Twitter, and I started to get a really good vibe from the Twisted brand and decided that they would make a great podcast guest. Thankfully Sophie who founded and owns the twisted lingerie brand decided that she would like to give this podcasting malarkey a go and here we are.

Twisted Lingerie is a fetish inspired brand, which can be seen throughout their collections. It’s provocative and seductive, but also affordable. We ask Sophie what inspired her to start Twisted, and how it moved from a thought to an active business.

One of the things that prompted me to invite Sophie onto the podcast was the community spirit of the Twisted Lingerie Twitter feed. Not only is it body positive, it’s also kink positive, two things we feel really passionate about. There are lots of tweets supporting and encouraging people and that is something we are keen to advocate.

We ask Sophie about her recent appearance at the Diamonds and Deals Conference for women in business where she gave a talk. Which leads us onto talking about supporting women in business, sexual empowerment and how sometimes women can feel the need to be apologetic for things they want out of life, and that actually we all feel that should not be the case.

Body positivity and body shaming get an airing again, because let’s be honest we probably can’t talk about these things enough, not just as a podcast but as a community. We discuss how things like lingerie, and shibari can sometimes pave the way to us feeling a little bit more love for our bodies and how important that is.

I shall let you discover the rest of the show for yourself, but if you have any comments on this episode or previous episodes please do get in touch via You can also send us any general kink questions, or suggestions for episodes or guests you might like us to cover. You can also follow us on Instagram, Twitter, Fetlife and Facebook. If Patreon is your thing you can also visit us there too where you will find our spin-off podcast FemDom and Fetish Fun.

We are also part of the Podcast Jukebox Network with Off the Cuffs, Drinks with God, Parking Lot Radio and the Will Sean Podcast. Please do give them a listen and leave us all lovely reviews if you think we have earned them. Which we definitely have. We’re all awesome.

Links from the show:

Aug 11, 2017

Communication is our topic this week, as Bakji and I (Floss) go it alone to share their thoughts on the importance of communicating with your partner. Our private conversations over the last few weeks have come back round to communication on many occasions. Both reflecting on how communicating with previous partners has been more difficult than we felt it should be, and why we thought that might be.

We discuss why communication is so important especially within the kink community, be that with a casual play partner or within an established dynamic. Whether you are wanting to talk about sexual desires, kinky desires or your relationship as a whole, we cover how there is often a time and place for these discussions and how sensitivity and empathy is a must.

Face to face, over the phone, Whatsapp, Trello and Instagram are all methods of communicating Bakji and I have used in our time together. I always feel that as adults we are meant to be totally down with face to face communication, but I’m here to say, sod that. Sort of. I think if something is making you feel anxious when it comes to discussing it, and you can find a more comfortable way to express yourself that will move things forward, then why not do it.

That said myself and Bakji have both become a lot better at actually using our words and communicating with each other both the good, the not so good, and of the course the kinky, sexy awesomeness. We discuss how this has helped our relationship, and what we think made communicating with each other different to previous relationships.

We reflect on how our experiences of talking about sex and physical desires in our younger years are very different. We wonder if this is a gender divide, or a throwback to when women were actively discouraged from embracing and enjoying their sexuality and having their sexual needs and want wasn’t seen as the done thing.

The Top/bottom dynamic also extends outside of kink dynamics and into non-kink sexual interactions, we do feel though that isn’t explored outside of the kink community and therefore it can sometimes be hard to express your needs without those terms at your disposal to help explain the nuances of what it is you're looking for.

Things get mildly controversial as we discuss the importance of sexual attraction and desire in life, and how romantic love sometimes gets prioritised when it isn’t necessarily the most important thing for everyone. We talk about how knowing what is important to you is what matters most and being able to express that without feeling guilty is essential.

If you have any thoughts yourself on this week's episode, or any others please do get in touch with us. You can contact us via hello@proudtobekinky, or you can hit social media and find us on Instagram, Twitter, Fetlife and Facebook. We have had some truly wonderful messages recently and they have made us smile from ear to ear, and one may have brought a tear to my eye.

When you’ve caught up on all the episodes of #ProudToBeKinky and you’re looking for somethign else to listen to check out our friends in the Podcast Jukebox Network. Off the Cuffs, Drinks with God, Parking Lot Radio and the Will Sean podcast. They are all fabulous for different reasons, but well worth a listen.

Aug 3, 2017

Kayla Lords and John Brownstone, hosts of the Loving BDSM Podcast, are our guests this week. Not only do they host a podcast, but they each have their own blog, and Loving BDSM has it’s own site with a great community feel to it, helped by the forum and other additions such as their monthly book club.


We discuss how Kayla and John met and how their dynamic works for them, with Kayla identifying as a Babygirl and John being a Daddy Dom. They also identify as having a 24/7 dynamic, but how they manage and maintain that may not be the same as how other people do. We are big fans of sharing experiences and inviting other people to take from that what is useful to them, and Kayla and John do a wonderful job of sharing their thoughts in an open, honest and inviting manner.


Reading someone’s blog can be a great insight into who they are and what they are interested in. As their blogs played a key part in how they got together, it leads us to talk about both John and Bakji did their research before wooing their respective partners. Lots of friendships have been built through blogs and social media too, and we ponder how we are meant to make friends with someone who isn’t baring their soul on the internet on a daily basis. When you are a proud and self confessed social media whore.


Evolution of kinks and kink identities is a huge part of being a kinky person. Almost everyone within the kink community has a got a story of how they have changed since joining the scene. This usually means more fun and a better understanding of both ourselves and kink as a whole. Kayla and John share how their relationship has evolved, their online presence has evolved and also how their kinks have evolved, both individually and as a couple.


Part of what makes Loving BDSM a must listen podcast is the fact John and Kayla allow fun and silliness not only into their lives but also into their D/s. While there is a lot of serious conversations that need to be had when you are engaging in BDSM, it is also meant to be fun. This comes up in the podcast through the various points raised, including what our various approaches to aftercare look like, and it isn’t necessarily how you’d imagine it look, especially if you are new to kink.


There is so much more that we cover in this episode, but I think I shall let you discover the rest for yourself, or the blog post will be a mammoth essay rather than a little round-up. You can find all the links to Loving BDSM below, as well as links to other resources mentioned within this episode.


As well as Loving BDSM, you can also listen to the other fab podcast that our part of our little Podcast Jukebox Network. Off the Cuffs: a kink and BDSM podcast, the Will Sean Podcast, Drinks with God and Parking Lot Radio. We are all on iTunes and we will love you forever if you leave us a star rating and review.

You can also wing by our Patreon site and see what is going on their for our Patrons. The most exciting of which is access to our spin-off podcast FemDom and Fetish fun, to check that out use this link You can also follow us on Instagram, Twitter, Fetlife and Facebook, just use the seqarch term ‘proudtobekinky’.

Jul 27, 2017

Lee Harrington is our guest this week, and if for some reason this is your first time listening to Lee speak you are in for a treat. Not only is he a friendly and extremely likeable person, he is also knowledgeable about so many topics it's hard to know what to ask him about first.


Having perused some of the wealth of resources Lee has to offer, 10 books to date, educational classes, podcasts (both his own and guest spots on other people’s), a blog, plus a presence on various social media platforms. We asked Lee what inspires him to carry out the work he does and the answer in itself is inspiring.


As you know myself and Bakji are relatively new to the kink scene, hence why we don’t class ourselves as educators when it comes to the podcast, we are just two people who are keen to share our experiences in the hope they might resonate with other people and give them support and encouragement where needed in terms of embracing either their local scene, their kinks or perhaps both. Less however has got two decades worth of experience of the kink scene under his belt. So we ask him how he came to discover his kinky side and what brought him into the kink community.


Our previous episode that addressed the topic of gender, ‘Episode 30 - Cross-Dressing and Being GenderFluid’ was a huge success. So we wanted to take some time to talk to Lee about this. As someone who openly discusses his own journey with gender, his insight and thoughts on gender identity are both educational and thought provoking. I challenge anyone who thinks they know about gender, or the issues some people face in relation to their gender to listen to Lee and not learn something.


We also talk about the crazy rude questions people often ask, relating to both gender and sexuality and how those questions are best navigated. This also leads us to discuss what constitutes sex, how opinions on this can vary and that knowing your partners view on this can be of great importance.


Floss gets herself flustered again when we talk about the bathroom bill that is being proposed in Lee’s current home state of Alaska. In which people will be required to use the bathroom of the gendered assigned on their birth certificate, regardless of how they are currently presenting. Lee was actually heading straight to protest for this right after we spoke with him.


It would be remiss of us to have Lee on without asking him about rope. As someone who has been tying long before there were online tutorials and a rope gathering in every city. We are thoroughly spoilt now with the amount of information we can obtain when it comes to Shibari, and it’s people like Lee that we have to thank for that. People who painstakingly reverse engineered ties and made connections with other people across the world who could impart their wisdom also.


If you would like to know more about Lee you can find him at, through there you can read his blog posts and check out what other podcasts you can listen to him on. His chat with our sister podcast Off The Cuffs turned into a two parter and is well worth a listen.


As well as Off The Cuffs, we are also joined in the Podcast Jukebox Network by the Will Sean Podcast, Drinks with God and Parking Lot Radio. You can find all of us on most podcast apps. You can also find us all on a variety of social media platforms, including our new Podcast Jukebox Facebook group.

If you have any comments on this episode or the podcast in general you can email us via, or get in touch on Instagram, Twitter, Fetlife or Facebook. You can also check us out on Patreon,, home of our spin-off podcast FemDom and Fetish Fun.

Jul 20, 2017

Kinky nostalgia is this weeks topic as Bakji and I take a walk down memory lane and discuss some of our favourite kinky scenes. Though we each suffer from what we call ‘kink amnesia’, so remembering the exact details seems to be a little tricky. Key moments seem to stick with us though, so those are the topic of discussion.


We discuss our varying experiences with early adventures into obtaining and exploring pornography. While one of us was content with movies and tv that had sexy scenes in, the other person rooted through bins and skips to obtain such things. There’s also talk of floppy disks containing jpegs and dial up internet. I really don’t think the youth of today realise how lucky wireless internet makes them.


First sex toys make an appearance too. Well an appearance in the conversation, not a physical appearance. Due to the fact that the first sex toy I ever bought ended up being a recalled item that had some very dubious issues, I no longer have that in my possession. Bakji tells a very sad story about the very first sex toy he ordered, the words sucks, strokes and masturbate are said a lot.


This is a little bit of an indulgent episode, mostly to celebrate the birthday of Bakji, also it is a good chance to give our listeners a little bit of an insight into what it is that we love to do together that encourages us to do the podcast. For us this podcast is about getting other people connected with like minded friends and/or partner/s to enjoy their own kinky times with.


We focus on the physical side of things a fair bit in this episode, and also in the episodes of FemDom and Fetish Fun that we do. We wouldn’t enjoy any of those things half as much though without the foundation of friendship and the emotional connection that strengthened with lots of getting to know each other. Which is why we encourage people to make friends of all kinds, sexy friends, platonic friends, rope friends and one of our favourites podcasting friends. Those podcasting people are awesome.


Speaking of podcasting friends. Please do head over to the Podcast Jukebox Network, we have accounts on Twitter and Facebook, so you can follow what #ProudToBeKinky has going on without publicly liking a kink page/account. Other podcast included in the network are Off The Cuffs, the Will Sean Podcast, Parking Lot Radio and Drinks with God. They are all awesome podcasts so do swing by and give them a listen.


If you have no issues with liking a kink account, then follow us on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and Fetlife. There are links on all the #ProudToBeKinky pages for our personal accounts you are also more than welcome to follow us there too. Feel free to give us a tweet/comment to let us know you are listener following and we will give you a big virtual hug.

You can also head over to our Patreon site, and check out what kind of rewards our Patrons are getting. Currently the most exciting of which is our spin-off podcast FemDom and Fetish Fun. Currently three episodes are available with many more to come. Floss also does weekly Patron only blog posts that give a round-up of our weekends and information on what guests we have coming up

Jul 6, 2017

Sex is our topic of discussing this week. As we are joined by Tanya and Megan from the ‘Take Back Your Sex’ podcast. While we talk a lot about kink and sexy things in general, it isn’t very often we actually talk about sex. So it was great to have these ladies on to fuel a positive discussion surrounding this subject.

Tanya has been blogging about sex in various guises for many years, so we asked how she and Megan came together to form the blog and what prompted them to then move into podcasting.  We also discuss a few of our own learning curves of starting the pod.

 We delve back into the topic of swinging again, and ask Tanya how she has found her adventures in non-monogamy. A topic that is currently a popular conversation with team #ProudToBeKinky as Bakji and I take our tentative first steps towards swinging adventures. More on that in future podcasts.

 Slut shaming is a big conversation, and a topic that Tanya and Megan tackle often on their blog, podcast and social media platforms. Here at #ProudToBeKinky we definitely agree that slut shaming needs to end. So while we are not self identified sluts ourselves, we are 100% in support of those that are and are more than happy to be an ally in the fight against slut shaming.


We also discuss how things can change when you start exploring things that are new to you, in this instance those things are kink and non-monogamy. Many of us join the kink scene, or get into relationships with firm expectations of what we will and won’t do, and tend to expect our partners to fit into that same model. Often though once you start exploring new things your desires and boundaries can shift dramatically and you can find yourself interested in trying so many new things. As we have said before many times on the podcast, embracing this and being open to new things is one of our top tips for enjoying the kink community.

 Sex education also comes under some scrutiny as we comment on how neither the U.S or U.K seems to quite have it right. It’s definitely something we need to be talking about more in terms of educating ourselves about everything from consent to contraception. But also how do those of us who are sex positive and also parents educate our children so that future generations are also sex positive.

 Part of the sex education conversation takes us onto the topic of self love and body positivity and it’s some Floss was particularly keen to talk about. Despite her prolific use of Instagram including many, many shameless bum selfies, her body confidence was not always as high and taking those steps towards body positivity can be hard for many people.

 There is much more to hear in this episode too. You can also tune in to Megan and Tanya on their own podcast ‘Take Back Your Sex’ to hear more from them. If you have any questions or comments on this episode you can email us on You can also follow us on instagram, Twitter, Facebook and Fetlife. You can also check out our Patreon site, which is now the home of our spin-off podcast FemDom and Fetish Fun, which all Patrons gain access to.

 As always a shout to our friends on the Podcast Jukebox Network, Off The Cuffs, Parking Lot Radio, Will Sean Podcast and Drinks with God. Please do give them a listen and anyone who is listening on iTunes can leave a wonderful 5 star review for all of us.

Jun 29, 2017
When you join the kink community there are very few hard and fast rules that we are expected to conform with, however approaching the community and the people in it with consideration and common sense definitely goes a long way to helping make new friends.   A lot of us learn the hard way when it comes to certain aspects of the scene, and we look back thinking, ‘wow, I wish I’d known that sooner’, so we are attempting to cover some of the things we wish we’d been told before we got involved in the scene, and we also cover a few things we wish other people would learn, yes we mean the guy's still sending the dick pics! We’re not out to preach, and we have definitely made a few of these mistakes ourselves, and as always we don’t want to come across as negative, so while we are saying ‘don’t do this’ we are counteracting with what we think might be a better course of action to help make you more friends and make you experience on the scene even more awesome.   While we cover mostly ideas on improving your social interactions, we also throw in a few practical items and we also repeat some things we may have said once or twice before, but they are worth repeating. Dicks pics, consent, scene etiquette etc! I don’t think we can ever talk about these things enough.As always if you have any feedback on this episode, on the podcast in general or a kink related question, then please do email us on You can also follow us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and Fetlife. We also love hearing from listeners on all these platforms, so if you’re following us do say a little hello and let us know you’re a listener.   You can also check out our sister podcasts from the Podcast Jukebox Network. This includes Off The Cuffs: a kink and BDSM podcast, Parking Lot Radio, the Will Sean Podcast and Drinks With God. You can also leave us all a lovely 5 star review if you're listening via iTunes (apple podcast app). You can also visit us on our Patreon page This is now the only place you will find new releases of our spin-off podcast FemDom and Fetish Fun, we have recorded a second episode and it should be with our Patron’s very soon.
Jun 23, 2017
Shibari is back! We know we may have mentioned it once or twice before, however we have got a wonderful guest in the lovely Sophia.Shibari who is an all round rope enthusiast. We have been long time followers of her Instagram account, and when we saw her perform a self suspension at the SlapStick Club (listen to episode 23 for more on that) we decided to reach out and see if she would like to come and chat with us, and to our delight she said yes. Sophia is not only a rope model, but also a rigger, she also teaches and facilitates rope jams at Anatomie Studio in London. Which if you ever get a chance to go to is well worth a visit. Anatomie Studio is a dedicated rope space, that not only offer tuition in rope, but also a wide range of other classes and opportunities. We do discuss this lots more within this episode. We talk to Sophia about what led her to joining the rope community, and as is often the case we end up discussing why we love it here at #ProudToBeKinky. We make a great case for how awesome the rope scene is and why anyone who is curious about rope should definitely give it a try. Floss marvels at how effortless Sophia makes self-suspension look and she tells us a little bit about her self-suspension performances, and how she finds the experience of tying herself. We also delve into how she got into the rigging side of rope, and how she developed the skills she has honed so beautifully. On the practical side of things we ask Sophia the following things:
  • What is her advice for anyone wanting to get into Shibari?
  • What conversations should people be having before they tie together?
  • What are her favourites ties as a rope model?
As always you can reach us on hello [at] if you have any comments on this episode, or any queries about the podcast or kink in general. Don’t forget you can also follow us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and Fetlife. We love hearing from people who are listening so please do reach out if you are a listener following us on any of these platforms. You can also check us out on Patreon, As if is an NSFW account you will need to follow the link to find us, we won’t show up in a Patreon search. Our new spin-off podcast ‘FemDom and Fetish Fun’ is going to be a Patron only reward as of episode 2, Floss is now sharing weekly Patron only posts and we are currently conspiring to come up with lots more awesome rewards. Don’t forget to check out our sister podcasts from the Podcast Jukebox Network, Off The Cuffs, Parking Lot Radio, the Will Sean Podcast and our new addition Drinks With God. You’re probably sick of me saying but if you're listening on iTunes (Apple Podcast App) please do leave a review, they make a huge difference to whether or not some people will be willing to take a punt on a new podcast. You can find Sophia on Instagram under sophia.shibari and you can find out more about Anatomie via their website
Jun 17, 2017
Polyamory and Ethical Non-Monogamy is this weeks focus, as Bakji and Floss are joined by the wonderful Page Turner from the website Poly.Land and also author of a new book Poly Land: My Brutally Honest Adventures in Polyamory. We stumbled across Page via Fetlife, when Floss came across her post Homing Pigeon Primary:Good Things Are Hard To Screw Up which was cross-posted from the Poly.Land blog. Since then Floss has been an avid reader of Poly.Land, and was very keen to give Page’s book a read once it was released. Polyamory is hard to miss as a lifestyle choice and subject matter when you join the kink scene, there is a fairly sizeable amount of kinky people who are either polyamorous, or have some kind of ethical non-monogamous activity within their relationships. With that in mind it has been important to cover polyamory at some point, finding the right people to discuss certain topics is important though, so we were delighted when Page said she would be happy to come and chat with us for an episode.   We cover some general things with Page like what inspired her to start her blog and how that progressed into her book. Also on a more personal level we discuss how she got into polyamory in the beginning and how she has navigated to the point she is at now.   Other topics we cover are some poly top-tips, and some useful resources, (other than Page’s own blog and book), which are recommended for people who are interested in exploring polyamory, or even just starting a conversation about potentially opening up. Some of the resources we mention are:     We also touch upon the controversial question of can you learn to be poly or must it be our natural leanings, parting ways gracefully. the beauty of compersion and meeting Stephen King. Bakji also tries to make quick fire questions poly related, which doesn’t really work, but we try and roll with it anyway.   Our email is, and you are welcome to use that for podcast comments or questions, or even just general kink related questions if you think we can be of assistance. You can also follow us on Instagram, Twitter, Fetlife and Facebook.   If you have listened to all of the #ProudToBeKinky episodes and are looking for new podcasts to check out, then please tune in to some of the other podcasts in the Podcast Jukebox Network; Off the Cuffs, Parking Lot Radio, the Will Sean Podcast and Drinks With God. We all appreciate lovely reviews being left for us too if you listen on iTunes.
Jun 9, 2017

Kinky paraphernalia is the topic of this week’s episode. As Bakji and Floss go it alone without a guest, to discuss all their favourite and most used items for their BDSM shenanigans.


Before I go on though, make sure you listen until the very end of the episode because we make a new and exciting announcement, which you will not want to miss.


Onto the content of the episode. We cover money savings tips and how to find good deals and discounts. Floss pimps Lovehoney so much that it’s probably impossible to convince you that she doesn’t work them, unfortunately we do not get any commission from you guys going their. Just the satisfaction of knowing you got a great deal and some sexy fun.


However, if you’re on a budget, or just fancy being creative, we also tackle ‘Make Your Own’ and ‘Vanilla Repurposing’. We had to take to Whatsapp to pick our friends brains for this one, because a) neither of us are that crafty and b) we use all our imagination on this podcast. So big shout out to our lovely friends for their awesome ideas.


It’s fair to say most people love a bargain, and not many of us want to pay more than is necessary for a product. Which is why we at #ProudToBeKinky are big fans of ‘Cheap but Good’, things we bought for a great price but do a great job, and even in some cases outshine their more expensive counterpart. Unfortunately the flip side to that is ‘Cheap but Shite’, classy name we know, but we go down that road too. Positivity is our main aim though, so we also let you know what is expensive and worth every penny. Hint, it’s Latex.


Some companies we give shoutouts too, and always recommend are:



If we didn’t cover something in this episode, but you are curious where you can buy something, or wonder if we have any recommendations then please do send us a message and we can do what we can to assist you. Our email as ever is, and we love getting your emails so do not hesitate if you are thinking of writing in. If email isn't your thing, but you do want to get a bit involved with the podcast you can follow us on Instagram, Twitter, Fetlife and Facebook.


Big shoutout as ever to our sister podcasts within the Podcast Jukebox Network. Off The Cuffs, the Will Sean Podcast and Parking Lot Radio. All worth a listen and all available on most podcast apps, and don’t forget if you listen to any of us on iTunes (Apple Podcast App) please do leave a review, they make all the difference in letting new listeners know whether or not to take a chance on listening to an as yet unheard podcast.

Jun 1, 2017

Cross-dresser. Transvestite. Gender-Fluid. Transgender. BiGender. Just a few of the words that come up in this episode. They may not mean to you what they mean to our guest, and every approach is valid when someone identifies with any or all of those words. The words we have at our disposal to describe ourselves can be key in our acceptance of who we are. Being able to successfully put across  to others, where we fall on the spectrum of gender can sometimes also be key to their understanding of who we are. Allowing for more open and beneficial conversations.

[caption id="attachment_1377" align="aligncenter" width="300"]Crossdressing and Being Gender Fluid Crossdressing and Being Gender Fluid[/caption]  

Our guest for this episode presents as both male and female. George when presenting as male, and Georgie when presenting as female. When we met it was a day for she and her pronouns, despite Bakji’s accidental faux pas of ‘we are joined with a chap named George’ right at the beginning of our interview. Luckily we were talking to a very open, lovely and level-headed individual who understands these things happen. If you would like to follow George on Twitter you can do so via @georgemitton.

Part of why we were keen to invite George onto the podcast is that he is completely open with everyone in his life about his Gender-Fluid orientation. Including family, friends and colleagues. With many aspects of BDSM and alternative lifestyles of all types the decision about whether or not to be open is a really big one. So speaking to someone who has been through it was an interesting experience.

We asked Georgie how and when she discover this side of herself, and how it integrated into her life in both the earlier days, and up to and including the present day. This includes some success stories of sharing with others, and periods of time where George was pushed to the forefront, and the fluidity of gender was not as present.

Overall though this is an immensely positive episode, we discuss how we can best approach telling people about the aspect of yourself you have yet to share with them, in this case being Gender-Fluid, but it could equally apply to other situations. We also cover women (and of course men) who not only support men who identify in these ways, but are also actively attracted to them.

Make-up, clothes, prosthetic boobs and wigs also come up in conversation, as we ask Georgie where some good places to shop are, and what key pieces she finds most useful. Likewise we enquire as to what kind of events are available, for once you are all dressed up and want to get together with some like minded folk. Obviously as always you can hit Fetlife and the usual Fetish events and munches that we recommend, but we actually do discover some new events through talking to Georgie. 

If any of what we talk about in this episode resonates with you, but you still have questions or any comments then please do get in touch. You can email us via You can also get in touch through any one of our social media accounts, we are on Instagram, Twitter, Fetlife and Facebook. All messages are welcome. 

We are also proud to be part of the Podcast Jukebox Network. If you haven’t already please check out, Off The Cuffs: a kink and BDSM podcast, Parking Lot Radio and the Will Sean Podcast. If you listen to any of us on iTunes/Apple podcast app, please do leave us a review, they really are invaluable for helping other find the podcasts you enjoy.

You can also support us on Patreon, any support will go towards growing the podcast so we can reach more people, speak to more guests and generally make #ProudToBeKinky the best damn podcast it can be.

May 26, 2017
Kinkster and Author Nookie Notes joins Bakji and Floss in this episode to discuss Female Led Relationships and her new website Part of what makes the kink community great is people with good insights on relationships and people who are will to present the community with new ideas and opportunities. Having followed Nookie Notes on Fetlife for some times and finding myself continuously loving lots of her writing, I thought why not invite her on the podcast. There were quite a few technical issues to overcome with this episode, the first time a Skype session has ever given is this much trouble, so please do bear with the episode even if there is the odd drop in sound.   Once we got chatting though we had a brilliant discussion chatting with Nookie Notes. We asked her about her writing, which you can find via her Fetlife account, she has also written a fair few books which you can find on amazon. Her books are predominantly about Female Led Relationships, with her erotica containing a good dose of cuckolding. While her Fetlife writings cover a wide range of subjects including consent, feelings, orgasms and much more.   We were very interested to discuss Nookie’s take on FLR’s and what they involve and how they relate to Kink, or if indeed they need to be related at all. Here at ProudToBeKinky we are big FemDom fans, not sure if anyone has ever noticed that, but FLR’s are different in and of themselves, so it was interested to hear where the similarities and differences lay.   As the podcast that likes to discuss the social side of kink we couldn’t have Nookie on without asking about the dating website she has created, She told us all about how she came to the decision to start a dating website, and how it has been developing over the last  6 months. We are really excited to see how this pans out in the future, and hopefully hear lots of great success stories of people finding great matches through it.   Quick fire questions return, as does out nosiness about what our guest is doing at the weekend, and as always there a fair few tangents that uncover some interesting topics of conversation, bidets and toilet roll included.   Regular listeners will have noticed our introduction now has a new addition, from our friends over at Off The Cuffs who kindly invited us into the Podcast Jukebox Network, please do listen to the great podcasts included in that, and leave them and us a great review if you are listening on iTunes/Apple Podcasts. If you have any comments, or questions for us, about the podcast or kink in general, you can get in touch on anyone of our social media accounts; Fetlife, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. Just search for ‘proudtobekinky’ and there we will be. You can also swing by our Patreon page and support us there too, you can also get in touch with ideas for what rewards you would like to see on the Patreon page, all suggestions welcome.
May 19, 2017
Download here *** Please don't be alarmed by the new intro!!!***   TheWickedJade joins us for this episode as we pick her very knowledgable brain, about all things fashion. Kinky, sexy, fetishy fashion that is. You can follow her on Instagram (@thewickedjade) if you want to see her great pictures of some truly lovely lingerie and clothing pieces.   Once you’ve found you’ve way into the BSDM community and have decided you want to try out a Fetish event, one of the first questions people ask is ‘What do I wear?’ Nearly all of us have been there, and it can really take the edge of an event if you’re panicking that your outfit isn’t going to be right.   There can be a huge temptation to just go for the Latex option, the nature of Latex means it is inherently Fetishy, but at the same time it really isn’t for everyone. Spending the night in Latex if you really don’t enjoy it is no fun. Even those of us who absolutely love Latex, sometimes have the odd event where we just don’t feel in the Latex mood. So why not ditch the generic ideas of what is Fetish fashion, and find something that truly is your style and makes you feel fabulous.   How though? That is the question we need answering. So that is what we discuss in this episode. We talk about accessories, body painting, double act outfits and much more. Some other things we consider are cost of outfits and what you might like to do in the outfit once you’re at the event.   Men seem to flounder even more so when it comes to dressing for Fetish events, especially if they’re really not into Latex or feel it won’t flatter their body type. We have all seen men rocking some great outfits though, so we try and present some ideas that could give the guys listening some inspiration for their next kinky outfit.   We also ask WickedJade how she got into kink, and what sort of kinks interest her. This leads us to talking about vet wrap, mummification, medical play and much more. Including singing the praises of eBay and our quick fire question round. If anything we discuss in the episode doesn’t quite answer all your Fetish fashion queries then please do email us via with any questions you have and we will do our best to find the answers for you. You can also get in touch on all our social media accounts, Instagram, Twitter, Fetlife and Facebook. We will respond to all messages, and we love hearing from you. You can also support us on our Patreon account too.
May 11, 2017
Swinging is our focus this week, as we are joined by Author Cooper S. Beckett. He has written three books ‘A Life Less Monogamous’, ‘Life on the Swingset’ and ‘Approaching the Swingularity’. When we have an author on the show we always attempt to read as much of their work as possible, once again we were blown away by how much we enjoyed Cooper’s writing. [caption id="attachment_1344" align="aligncenter" width="300"]My Life on the Swingset My Life on the Swingset[/caption] There is often a lot of me, us, them amongst the varying subsets of alternative lifestyles. BDSM lifestylers aren’t always swingers, swingers aren’t always polyamorous and polyamorous folk may neither swing or be kinky. Some people however might be all three. Part of why I loved chatting with Cooper is that he wants us all to pull together. People outside of all three of those groups are likely to be judging us, and not kindly. The last thing we need is to be turning on each other as well.   Myself and Bakji are not swingers. We are non-monogamous kinksters who have been fascinated only by each other for a fair while now. Swinging wasn’t really something either of us had ever really considered ‘our thing’. However after reading Cooper’s books and chatting to him, we are actually talking about the fact that this could be fun for us. At the end of the day we love making new friends, we enjoy being sexy and perhaps we could learn more about a lifestyle that could be great for some of our listeners.   In this episode we talk about who might benefit from opening their relationship and what things you should be considering before, during and after opening up. We also talk about jealousy and what it can mean for us when that feeling is present and what we can do to work through that with our partner/s.   If you’re new to non-monogamy as a concept it can be easy to box up each subsection of it and see them as completely different entities, however as we talk to Cooper we discuss they notion of it being more a spectrum that you can move back and forth along depending on the types of people you meet and relationships you engage in.   As the social and interpersonal podcast we are always wondering what is it about each episode that might encourage or help people get themselves out and about and making like minded friends, and/or partner/s. While we don’t yet have all the advice on swinging we will do our best to help you find the answers should you be interested in getting your swing on.   You can also check out Cooper’s Podcast ‘Life on the Swingset’ for more information. On the subject of other podcasts, we are now part of the podcast network Podcast Jukebox, with our sister podcasts ‘Off The Cuffs: a kink and BDSM Podcast’, the ‘Will Sean Podcast’ and ‘Parking Lot Radio’. Please do give them all a listen. After you’ve listened to us though, we want to be your favourite.   All feedback is welcomed, as are questions relating to the podcast or about kink in general. You can email us via, or you can get in touch through any of our social media accounts, Instagram, Twitter and Fetlife. You can also support us on Patreon, which will enable us to grow the podcast and reach more curious kinksters and help them get their kink on.  
May 4, 2017
Relationship Engineering is this weeks topic, as Bakji and Floss return to get personal as they discuss how they manage their own relationship, within both a kink context and a romantic context.   It’s fair to say that both Bakji and Floss have quite distinct thoughts on how they like to approach relationships. Many of which have been formed by past experiences, some have been formed since joining the kink scene and a few are based on personal situations. Whatever the reason for each individual belief though, they can only really work because they are supported by both partners.   We are big believers in having the relationship that makes all involved in it happy. So this could be two people in a monogamous relationship, or it could be five people in a polycule. For us it doesn’t matter how your relationship looks, so long as it is making you happy.   A huge part of making any relationship work is communication, we are honest in saying this has been something we have definitely had to work on. It hasn’t come easily for us. However, the desire to continue having and building intimacy has propelled us forward in terms of how effective our communication is. In the podcast we talk about some methods we’ve found to help us communicate better and also the reasons why we perhaps neglected communication in the early days of our relationship.   While we don’t delve deeply into non-monogamy it is mentioned, a lot of the thoughts Floss mentions on this subject have been shaped by some other great resources. It would be a very long list for a blog post, but do get in touch if you would like more information on this.   We also talk around conventional relationship expectations and labels, and how you can become more comfortable using alternative explanations for how you present your relationship model to the outside world, who more often than not will have an opinion that you probably won’t ask for, but will hear anyway. Relationship goals and milestones also pop up to, and we discuss want you can do if you still want to include these things but without the usual formatting.   As always we would love to hear your feedback on this episode and all our previous episodes. Ideas for future episodes or general kink questions are also welcome. Our email is, or you can find us on Instagram, Twitter and Fetlife. You can also support us on Patreon, so we can continue to grow the podcast, reach even more people and help them get their kink on. Please have a listen to our friends Podcast ‘Off The Cuffs’ for more on kink, fetish and BDSM.
Apr 24, 2017
Author Nicholas Tanek joins us this week to discuss his new book ‘Your Kinky Friends’. We also touch upon his other titles ‘Chipped Black Nail Polish’ and ‘The Coolest Way To Kill Yourself’. Both Bakji and Floss have read all three books between them, and they come highly recommended. It is not often you get to chat with an author about a book you have enjoyed, so this made for a really nice experience. [caption id="attachment_1330" align="aligncenter" width="193"]Your Kinky Friends Your Kinky Friends[/caption] Nicholas is based in the U.S, so once again we were faced with the issue of time difference. We really wanted to bring this chat to the podcast though, so we took the hit and recorded at 1am U.K time. So you may need to look past the fact That Bakji and Floss sound a little on the tired side. We promise the next episode with be full energy and recorded at a normal time of day. We talk to Nicholas about what prompted him to join the scene, and how the BDSM community provided a positive space for him at a very low point in his life. For anyone who has wondered if you can find true friends and positive influences in the BDSM community then this story is for you. Pre-scene kink also crops up, as we discuss what kind of things Nicholas enjoyed as a young kinkster. More of which crops up in his book ‘The Coolest Way To Kill Yourself’. Which is peppered with lots of kinky tales but also deals with addiction, recovery, loss of a partner, love and friendship. Other topics we discuss in this episode are:
  • Early forays into kink
  • The love of all things FemDom
  • Perving the lingerie section of catalogues
  • The love of all things British
  • Hidden porn in the woods
  • And a whole host of other things
If anything we discuss in this episode prompts you to want to get in touch with us then you can do so via We are also on Instagram, Twitter and Fetlife. We also have our own Patreon page too, so if you love the podcast and would like to support us in reaching even more people with it, then you can do so there.
Apr 13, 2017
Download here Staying safe is the focus of this week's episode. As I (Floss) perused the BDSM subreddit she stumbled across a post that made her stop and think. We spend a lot of time encouraging people to make friends and meet like minded people, and while we are great advocates of munches and fetish events, we do understand that sometimes those avenues aren’t everyone’s first venture into kink.   Like the writer of the Reddit post, many people get chatting to someone online and choose to move their interactions into a real life meeting. While for some people this can lead to great experiences, and wonderful friendships and relationships. For many people, it is less successful. The particular post I read was an uncomfortable one to see, and it also caused some reflection on my own past decisions.   With that in mind, I proposed the idea of this episode to Bakji. I wanted to talk about how we can best keep ourselves safe, should we choose to arrange one on one meetings with people we meet online, or perhaps have had less time to get to know. We also take about the things that may well be red flags, and should perhaps make us think twice about moving forward with such interactions.   Topics discussed in this episode are:  
  • Social proof and why it’s important
  • Ideas for staying safe when meeting someone new
  • What behaviour should we be questioning
  • Suggestions for where to meet new people
  We want people to know they’re not alone in navigating those early days of finding a suitable partner, or making their way onto the fetish scene to find friends, and we definitely want you to know we have made our own mistakes along our journey, and that is partly what drives us to keep doing the podcast. BDSM is such a great and wonderful thing to explore and it is made even more glorious when you find the right people to enjoy it with and that is what we want for all our listeners. We have had some great feedback since the the last episode, please keep all your emails and comments coming. Our email as always is, or you can get in touch via any of social media accounts, Instagram, Twitter or Fetlife.
Apr 8, 2017
SlapStick Fetish Club has been running for a year, Bakji and Floss made their first visit back in March and were instantly seduced and it’s definitely up there as one of their top Fetish nights out. So when the lovely Pierre and Hannah who run the event agreed to come onto the podcast we were overjoyed. [caption id="attachment_1269" align="aligncenter" width="245"]SlapStick Club SlapStick Club[/caption] We can promote other people's events as much as we like, but hearing about events from the people that organise them is even better. One of the reasons people have said they enjoy the podcast is because it shows them that there are nice, regular people on the scene, the same goes for the people arranging events. They’re nice people who want to put on awesome events for like minded kinksters. I hope that by us talking to people who run Fetish nights, it will encouraging those of you who have yet to make it to your first Fetish event, to do just that.   Topics covered in this episode:  
  • What are their top tips for a first visit to a Fetish event
  • What made them decide to set up a Fetish event
  • What did they want to do a little bit different to other events
  • Is it difficult finding suitable locations for events
  At one point we digress a little bit into a discussion about swinging clubs. While they aren’t something any of us who host the podcast have experienced, and despite the fact there isn’t a huge swinging/BDSM crossover, we appreciate that some of our listeners might have interest in this aspect of sexual exploration, if so we hope some of what we discuss today will be of some use.   Hannah and Pierre were also kind enough to share a little bit more about themselves, and the relationships they are in and the types of kink activities they enjoy. We also asked how they initially discovered kink and what made them join the fetish scene.   You can find out more about SlapStick Club on their website, they are also on Instagram,, on Twitter @Slap_Stick_Club and Facebook, Their next event is on May 20th in London, so check that out if you think this sounds like your kind of night out. As always questions and comments on this episode and any of our previous episodes can be sent via hello@proudtobekinky, or via any of our social media accounts. You can find us on Instagram, Twitter, Fetlife and Facebook. We also have our Patreon account for anyone who would like to support the podcast and help us make it even better and reach more people.
Mar 31, 2017
Fellow podcasters Dick_Wound and Minimus Maximus are our guests for this episode. They host Off The Cuffs: A Kink and BDSM Podcast. When we were just a few episodes into #ProudToBeKinky, Dick_Wound reached out to us on Fetlife and offered podcasting camaraderie. We were genuinely touched, even more so when we asked for advice on guest episodes and they not only gave advice, but were active in getting us in contact with people who became future guests. [caption id="attachment_1251" align="aligncenter" width="300"]Off The Cuffs Podcast Off The Cuffs Podcast[/caption] When the conversation turned to possibly doing each other's shows we were very excited. I know we have our own podcast, which is brilliant, but going on someone else's show, well that’s a whole different ball game. So it was decided we would fire up Skype and each do a recording for the other podcast. I am happy to say we were not disappointed. Despite the geographical distance between us, it very much felt like making new friends.   Topics covered in this episodes are:  
  • How Dick and Max got into kink
  • What made them start a podcast together
  • What current dynamics they are enjoying
  • What kind of kinks and fetishes they have
  You can hear more from them on their podcast which can be found on iTunes and most other podcast apps. The are also on Fetlife and Twitter. If you’d like to hear the recording of we did for their show you, we were on Episode 49.   If you have any comments about this episode or any previous episodes you can email us via hello@proudtobekinky. Alternatively you follow and message us on Instagram, Twitter and Fetlife. Thank you to everyone who has sent in comments so far. They are fantastic to read.
Mar 26, 2017
Bootblacking came up in conversation back in episodes 12 and 13, when Bakji and Floss discussed the various roles you encounter on the Fetlife dropdown menu. At the time it was a new one for Bakji, and Floss had limited information but did feel it would be a fun one to discuss in the future should we meet anyone who could share their experiences of being a bootblack. [caption id="attachment_1237" align="aligncenter" width="300"]Boot Blacking Boot Blacking[/caption] As luck would have it that is exactly what has happened. Via the wonders of internet friends, email and Skype, we are able bring to you a chat with the lovely Aiden, who came onto the podcast to discuss his experiences of being a bootblack, as well as a host of other things.   Aiden has been on the scene for around 10 years, so once again it’s nice to chat to someone with a fair amount of experience under their kinky belt. While bootblacking isn’t his primary kink, it is the one that piqued our interest and it was definitely a conversation that gave us more understanding of the how’s and why’s of this kink.   Some of the things we discuss surround bootblacking are:  
  • Is it just shining boots? Or can other things be shined?
  • Is it purely service oriented? Or is there a sexual element for some people?
  • What products can you use?
  • Where can you go if you’re interested in bootblacking?
  We also chat to Aiden about the type of dynamics he’s currently involved in, some of his other kinks and what his thoughts are on getting social and making your way to a munch. The curious side of also wonders what the weekend brings for other kinksters, so we get the inside track on Aiden’s weekend plans and upcoming events.   Quick fire questions returns as well, because it is our new favourite thing. Guests always answer so differently and usually to great success. So expect more of this in the future, including more talks of sushi. If you have any ideas for some quick fire question please do email them to us via hello@proudtobekinky, as well as any other comments or questions you may have about the podcast. You can also follow us on Instagram, Twitter and Fetlife, and our Patreon page is now up and running so please do check us out there.
Mar 18, 2017
Download here Welcome to Episode 20 of #ProudToBeKinky, or should we say Episode d20, because this is another guest episode, in which we welcome a new friend of the show D20Domme and her submissive Lucky Puppy. We were absolutely delighted to have them on the podcast, and we had so much fun recording with them. So we hope you all enjoy listening to it just as much.   There are so many different ways to engage in BDSM, and as we have said in previous episodes the best way for you is the way that makes you and your partner/s happy. Guest episodes like this are brilliant because they give us all an insight into how someone else does BDSM their way.   One of the main things we were keen to chat to D20 and Lucky Puppy about was their long distance relationship. With one of them based in America and the other in the U.K at their time of meeting, we wanted to delve into the things they did to cement their connection and maintain a relationship across the many, many miles. We also discuss how they each got into kink and their journey from that point to where they are now.   Topics covered in this episode:  
  • How their relationship got started
  • Maintaining a LDR
  • The type of kinky activities and scenes they engage in
  • Chastity play
  • Sexy hypnosis
  • The differences/similarities between the scenes in the U.K and U.S
  • More Shibari talk
  • The importance of communication and honesty
  • Quick fire questions, which definitely made for some fun conversations
  Due to the fact that both our guests were really friendly and easy to chat to there is a lot of digressing from the topics at hand, so be prepared to hear our views on some slightly more random things. If our ramblings don’t quite give you all the information you’d like on d20 then you can also find her at her blog From Mundane to Mistress, which has lots of fab reads on it. As we always say, because we really do mean it, if you have any questions or thoughts on the podcast, including this and previous episodes please get in touch via, or through our Instagram, Twitter or Fetlife accounts. We also have a patreon account for those people who like to randomly give others money to support their endeavours.
Mar 11, 2017
Welcome to Episode 19 of #ProudToBeKinky, where Bakji and Floss talk through their experiences and thoughts on the various headspaces you may encounter when you start exploring Kink, Fetish and BDSM. [caption id="attachment_1312" align="aligncenter" width="300"]SubSpace and TopSpace SubSpace and TopSpace[/caption] When you first join the scene there are lots of new phrases you start to hear, one of the most common being 'subspace'. If you’ve played a little but never heard the term before, it can be hard to know if you've experienced it. It can also for some people become a bit of a goal to reach, and disappointment can occur for those people who struggle to get the experience of subspace they’d like.   However we don’t want anyone to feel disappointed in any aspect of their kink lifestyle. So in this episode we also cover the fact that this is something that can happen, but not experiencing it doesn’t detract from how much fun kinky play can be. In fact there may be situations in which people actively avoid subspace, so we touch on those too.   For those people who do like the idea of getting a bit ‘spacey’, we discuss what actions might get you there, and what you can expect when you have that experience. While subspace is probably the most talked about headspace on the scene, 'Top space' and 'rope space' are also ones we have come across on a fairly regular basis, so we have a little chat about those too.   When we experience subspace/Topspace, whether it’s for the first time, or if you’re seasoned player. The after effects of the intensity it brings can have an effect. This is what people will refer to as drop. We discuss how drop may feel for various people, and how aftercare can make drop less likely to occur, or at least bring comfort during it.   Topics covered in this episode:  
  • The different types of headspaces you may encounter
  • How to get into that ‘spacey’ zone
  • Why you might want avoid going ‘spacey’
  • How to transition from spacey play back into reality
  • The after effect of subspace/Topspace
  • How to alleviate drop
  As always if you have any comments on this episode, previous episodes or the podcast in general please do get in touch via We also are also happy to respond to any comment on Instagram, Twitter or Fetlife. So do give us a follow and say a little hello.
Mar 7, 2017
Download here Welcome to Episode #18 of #ProudToBeKinky. Join Bakji and Floss as they talk about how to be more dominant... but in sexy way. Please excuse their ever so slightly sleepy demeanour, this is the after effects of a very fun night out with Fetishy friends. We are definitely following our own advice about being social, but sometimes this does leave us burning the candles at both ends. We promise we will be a bit more alert for the next recording. So as you will know from previous episodes, Floss spends a lot of time perusing the internet and frequents places like the LoveHoney forum, FetLife groups and more recently forums. One of the questions that comes up time and time again in these forums is usually along the following lines: ‘My partner would like to be more submissive to me in the bedroom/in scene. How do I go about being more Dominant?’ The things people are often worried about are technical skills; for things like impact play, attitude; do they seem 'Domly' enough, confidence; nerves can absolutely take the edge of sexy times and many other worries come up alongside those few things. In this episode we talk about our own experiences, and what things might help someone who is new to Topping but really wants to give it a go and be confident with it. Topics covered in this episode:
  • The importance of communication
  • How to avoid Topping from the bottom and why that is important.
  • Practical ideas to combat nerves during a scene
  • Types of Domination you can include
This episode also introduces our new feature, ‘Writing of the Week’, this week features a writing from The Ochre Muse Blog. We read out the writing in question and we discuss why we enjoyed it, and how it’s message supports the ethos of the podcast. As always we enjoy hearing any feedback you have on the pod, so please do get in touch via, hello[at] You can also find us on Instagram, Twitter, FetLife and our new page over on Patreon. Please do come and connect with us and say a little hello.  
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