Kayla Lords and John Brownstone, hosts of the Loving BDSM Podcast, are our guests this week. Not only do they host a podcast, but they each have their own blog, and Loving BDSM has it’s own site with a great community feel to it, helped by the forum and other additions such as their monthly book club.
We discuss how Kayla and John met and how their dynamic works for them, with Kayla identifying as a Babygirl and John being a Daddy Dom. They also identify as having a 24/7 dynamic, but how they manage and maintain that may not be the same as how other people do. We are big fans of sharing experiences and inviting other people to take from that what is useful to them, and Kayla and John do a wonderful job of sharing their thoughts in an open, honest and inviting manner.
Reading someone’s blog can be a great insight into who they are and what they are interested in. As their blogs played a key part in how they got together, it leads us to talk about both John and Bakji did their research before wooing their respective partners. Lots of friendships have been built through blogs and social media too, and we ponder how we are meant to make friends with someone who isn’t baring their soul on the internet on a daily basis. When you are a proud and self confessed social media whore.
Evolution of kinks and kink identities is a huge part of being a kinky person. Almost everyone within the kink community has a got a story of how they have changed since joining the scene. This usually means more fun and a better understanding of both ourselves and kink as a whole. Kayla and John share how their relationship has evolved, their online presence has evolved and also how their kinks have evolved, both individually and as a couple.
Part of what makes Loving BDSM a must listen podcast is the fact John and Kayla allow fun and silliness not only into their lives but also into their D/s. While there is a lot of serious conversations that need to be had when you are engaging in BDSM, it is also meant to be fun. This comes up in the podcast through the various points raised, including what our various approaches to aftercare look like, and it isn’t necessarily how you’d imagine it look, especially if you are new to kink.
There is so much more that we cover in this episode, but I think I shall let you discover the rest for yourself, or the blog post will be a mammoth essay rather than a little round-up. You can find all the links to Loving BDSM below, as well as links to other resources mentioned within this episode.
As well as Loving BDSM, you can also listen to the other fab podcast that our part of our little Podcast Jukebox Network. Off the Cuffs: a kink and BDSM podcast, the Will Sean Podcast, Drinks with God and Parking Lot Radio. We are all on iTunes and we will love you forever if you leave us a star rating and review.
You can also wing by our Patreon site and see what is going on their for our Patrons. The most exciting of which is access to our spin-off podcast FemDom and Fetish fun, to check that out use this link https://www.patreon.com/proudtobekinky. You can also follow us on Instagram, Twitter, Fetlife and Facebook, just use the seqarch term ‘proudtobekinky’.
Lee Harrington is our guest this week, and if for some reason this is your first time listening to Lee speak you are in for a treat. Not only is he a friendly and extremely likeable person, he is also knowledgeable about so many topics it's hard to know what to ask him about first.
Having perused some of the wealth of resources Lee has to offer, 10 books to date, educational classes, podcasts (both his own and guest spots on other people’s), a blog, plus a presence on various social media platforms. We asked Lee what inspires him to carry out the work he does and the answer in itself is inspiring.
As you know myself and Bakji are relatively new to the kink scene, hence why we don’t class ourselves as educators when it comes to the podcast, we are just two people who are keen to share our experiences in the hope they might resonate with other people and give them support and encouragement where needed in terms of embracing either their local scene, their kinks or perhaps both. Less however has got two decades worth of experience of the kink scene under his belt. So we ask him how he came to discover his kinky side and what brought him into the kink community.
Our previous episode that addressed the topic of gender, ‘Episode 30 - Cross-Dressing and Being GenderFluid’ was a huge success. So we wanted to take some time to talk to Lee about this. As someone who openly discusses his own journey with gender, his insight and thoughts on gender identity are both educational and thought provoking. I challenge anyone who thinks they know about gender, or the issues some people face in relation to their gender to listen to Lee and not learn something.
We also talk about the crazy rude questions people often ask, relating to both gender and sexuality and how those questions are best navigated. This also leads us to discuss what constitutes sex, how opinions on this can vary and that knowing your partners view on this can be of great importance.
Floss gets herself flustered again when we talk about the bathroom bill that is being proposed in Lee’s current home state of Alaska. In which people will be required to use the bathroom of the gendered assigned on their birth certificate, regardless of how they are currently presenting. Lee was actually heading straight to protest for this right after we spoke with him.
It would be remiss of us to have Lee on without asking him about rope. As someone who has been tying long before there were online tutorials and a rope gathering in every city. We are thoroughly spoilt now with the amount of information we can obtain when it comes to Shibari, and it’s people like Lee that we have to thank for that. People who painstakingly reverse engineered ties and made connections with other people across the world who could impart their wisdom also.
If you would like to know more about Lee you can find him at passionandsoul.com, through there you can read his blog posts and check out what other podcasts you can listen to him on. His chat with our sister podcast Off The Cuffs turned into a two parter and is well worth a listen.
As well as Off The Cuffs, we are also joined in the Podcast Jukebox Network by the Will Sean Podcast, Drinks with God and Parking Lot Radio. You can find all of us on most podcast apps. You can also find us all on a variety of social media platforms, including our new Podcast Jukebox Facebook group.
If you have any comments on this episode or the podcast in general you can email us via email@example.com, or get in touch on Instagram, Twitter, Fetlife or Facebook. You can also check us out on Patreon, www.patreon.com/proudtobekinky, home of our spin-off podcast FemDom and Fetish Fun.
Kinky nostalgia is this weeks topic as Bakji and I take a walk down memory lane and discuss some of our favourite kinky scenes. Though we each suffer from what we call ‘kink amnesia’, so remembering the exact details seems to be a little tricky. Key moments seem to stick with us though, so those are the topic of discussion.
We discuss our varying experiences with early adventures into obtaining and exploring pornography. While one of us was content with movies and tv that had sexy scenes in, the other person rooted through bins and skips to obtain such things. There’s also talk of floppy disks containing jpegs and dial up internet. I really don’t think the youth of today realise how lucky wireless internet makes them.
First sex toys make an appearance too. Well an appearance in the conversation, not a physical appearance. Due to the fact that the first sex toy I ever bought ended up being a recalled item that had some very dubious issues, I no longer have that in my possession. Bakji tells a very sad story about the very first sex toy he ordered, the words sucks, strokes and masturbate are said a lot.
This is a little bit of an indulgent episode, mostly to celebrate the birthday of Bakji, also it is a good chance to give our listeners a little bit of an insight into what it is that we love to do together that encourages us to do the podcast. For us this podcast is about getting other people connected with like minded friends and/or partner/s to enjoy their own kinky times with.
We focus on the physical side of things a fair bit in this episode, and also in the episodes of FemDom and Fetish Fun that we do. We wouldn’t enjoy any of those things half as much though without the foundation of friendship and the emotional connection that strengthened with lots of getting to know each other. Which is why we encourage people to make friends of all kinds, sexy friends, platonic friends, rope friends and one of our favourites podcasting friends. Those podcasting people are awesome.
Speaking of podcasting friends. Please do head over to the Podcast Jukebox Network, we have accounts on Twitter and Facebook, so you can follow what #ProudToBeKinky has going on without publicly liking a kink page/account. Other podcast included in the network are Off The Cuffs, the Will Sean Podcast, Parking Lot Radio and Drinks with God. They are all awesome podcasts so do swing by and give them a listen.
If you have no issues with liking a kink account, then follow us on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and Fetlife. There are links on all the #ProudToBeKinky pages for our personal accounts you are also more than welcome to follow us there too. Feel free to give us a tweet/comment to let us know you are listener following and we will give you a big virtual hug.
You can also head over to our Patreon site www.patreon.com/proudtobekinky, and check out what kind of rewards our Patrons are getting. Currently the most exciting of which is our spin-off podcast FemDom and Fetish Fun. Currently three episodes are available with many more to come. Floss also does weekly Patron only blog posts that give a round-up of our weekends and information on what guests we have coming up
Sex is our topic of discussing this week. As we are joined by Tanya and Megan from the ‘Take Back Your Sex’ podcast. While we talk a lot about kink and sexy things in general, it isn’t very often we actually talk about sex. So it was great to have these ladies on to fuel a positive discussion surrounding this subject.
Tanya has been blogging about sex in various guises for many years, so we asked how she and Megan came together to form the takebackyoursex.com blog and what prompted them to then move into podcasting. We also discuss a few of our own learning curves of starting the pod.
We delve back into the topic of swinging again, and ask Tanya how she has found her adventures in non-monogamy. A topic that is currently a popular conversation with team #ProudToBeKinky as Bakji and I take our tentative first steps towards swinging adventures. More on that in future podcasts.
Slut shaming is a big conversation, and a topic that Tanya and Megan tackle often on their blog, podcast and social media platforms. Here at #ProudToBeKinky we definitely agree that slut shaming needs to end. So while we are not self identified sluts ourselves, we are 100% in support of those that are and are more than happy to be an ally in the fight against slut shaming.
We also discuss how things can change when you start exploring things that are new to you, in this instance those things are kink and non-monogamy. Many of us join the kink scene, or get into relationships with firm expectations of what we will and won’t do, and tend to expect our partners to fit into that same model. Often though once you start exploring new things your desires and boundaries can shift dramatically and you can find yourself interested in trying so many new things. As we have said before many times on the podcast, embracing this and being open to new things is one of our top tips for enjoying the kink community.
Sex education also comes under some scrutiny as we comment on how neither the U.S or U.K seems to quite have it right. It’s definitely something we need to be talking about more in terms of educating ourselves about everything from consent to contraception. But also how do those of us who are sex positive and also parents educate our children so that future generations are also sex positive.
Part of the sex education conversation takes us onto the topic of self love and body positivity and it’s some Floss was particularly keen to talk about. Despite her prolific use of Instagram including many, many shameless bum selfies, her body confidence was not always as high and taking those steps towards body positivity can be hard for many people.
There is much more to hear in this episode too. You can also tune in to Megan and Tanya on their own podcast ‘Take Back Your Sex’ to hear more from them. If you have any questions or comments on this episode you can email us on firstname.lastname@example.org. You can also follow us on instagram, Twitter, Facebook and Fetlife. You can also check out our Patreon site www.pateon.com/proudtobekinky, which is now the home of our spin-off podcast FemDom and Fetish Fun, which all Patrons gain access to.
As always a shout to our friends on the Podcast Jukebox Network, Off The Cuffs, Parking Lot Radio, Will Sean Podcast and Drinks with God. Please do give them a listen and anyone who is listening on iTunes can leave a wonderful 5 star review for all of us.
Kinky paraphernalia is the topic of this week’s episode. As Bakji and Floss go it alone without a guest, to discuss all their favourite and most used items for their BDSM shenanigans.
Before I go on though, make sure you listen until the very end of the episode because we make a new and exciting announcement, which you will not want to miss.
Onto the content of the episode. We cover money savings tips and how to find good deals and discounts. Floss pimps Lovehoney so much that it’s probably impossible to convince you that she doesn’t work them, unfortunately we do not get any commission from you guys going their. Just the satisfaction of knowing you got a great deal and some sexy fun.
However, if you’re on a budget, or just fancy being creative, we also tackle ‘Make Your Own’ and ‘Vanilla Repurposing’. We had to take to Whatsapp to pick our friends brains for this one, because a) neither of us are that crafty and b) we use all our imagination on this podcast. So big shout out to our lovely friends for their awesome ideas.
It’s fair to say most people love a bargain, and not many of us want to pay more than is necessary for a product. Which is why we at #ProudToBeKinky are big fans of ‘Cheap but Good’, things we bought for a great price but do a great job, and even in some cases outshine their more expensive counterpart. Unfortunately the flip side to that is ‘Cheap but Shite’, classy name we know, but we go down that road too. Positivity is our main aim though, so we also let you know what is expensive and worth every penny. Hint, it’s Latex.
Some companies we give shoutouts too, and always recommend are:
If we didn’t cover something in this episode, but you are curious where you can buy something, or wonder if we have any recommendations then please do send us a message and we can do what we can to assist you. Our email as ever is email@example.com, and we love getting your emails so do not hesitate if you are thinking of writing in. If email isn't your thing, but you do want to get a bit involved with the podcast you can follow us on Instagram, Twitter, Fetlife and Facebook.
Big shoutout as ever to our sister podcasts within the Podcast Jukebox Network. Off The Cuffs, the Will Sean Podcast and Parking Lot Radio. All worth a listen and all available on most podcast apps, and don’t forget if you listen to any of us on iTunes (Apple Podcast App) please do leave a review, they make all the difference in letting new listeners know whether or not to take a chance on listening to an as yet unheard podcast.
Cross-dresser. Transvestite. Gender-Fluid. Transgender. BiGender. Just a few of the words that come up in this episode. They may not mean to you what they mean to our guest, and every approach is valid when someone identifies with any or all of those words. The words we have at our disposal to describe ourselves can be key in our acceptance of who we are. Being able to successfully put across to others, where we fall on the spectrum of gender can sometimes also be key to their understanding of who we are. Allowing for more open and beneficial conversations.[caption id="attachment_1377" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Crossdressing and Being Gender Fluid[/caption]
Our guest for this episode presents as both male and female. George when presenting as male, and Georgie when presenting as female. When we met it was a day for she and her pronouns, despite Bakji’s accidental faux pas of ‘we are joined with a chap named George’ right at the beginning of our interview. Luckily we were talking to a very open, lovely and level-headed individual who understands these things happen. If you would like to follow George on Twitter you can do so via @georgemitton.
Part of why we were keen to invite George onto the podcast is that he is completely open with everyone in his life about his Gender-Fluid orientation. Including family, friends and colleagues. With many aspects of BDSM and alternative lifestyles of all types the decision about whether or not to be open is a really big one. So speaking to someone who has been through it was an interesting experience.
We asked Georgie how and when she discover this side of herself, and how it integrated into her life in both the earlier days, and up to and including the present day. This includes some success stories of sharing with others, and periods of time where George was pushed to the forefront, and the fluidity of gender was not as present.
Overall though this is an immensely positive episode, we discuss how we can best approach telling people about the aspect of yourself you have yet to share with them, in this case being Gender-Fluid, but it could equally apply to other situations. We also cover women (and of course men) who not only support men who identify in these ways, but are also actively attracted to them.
Make-up, clothes, prosthetic boobs and wigs also come up in conversation, as we ask Georgie where some good places to shop are, and what key pieces she finds most useful. Likewise we enquire as to what kind of events are available, for once you are all dressed up and want to get together with some like minded folk. Obviously as always you can hit Fetlife and the usual Fetish events and munches that we recommend, but we actually do discover some new events through talking to Georgie.
If any of what we talk about in this episode resonates with you, but you still have questions or any comments then please do get in touch. You can email us via firstname.lastname@example.org. You can also get in touch through any one of our social media accounts, we are on Instagram, Twitter, Fetlife and Facebook. All messages are welcome.
We are also proud to be part of the Podcast Jukebox Network. If you haven’t already please check out, Off The Cuffs: a kink and BDSM podcast, Parking Lot Radio and the Will Sean Podcast. If you listen to any of us on iTunes/Apple podcast app, please do leave us a review, they really are invaluable for helping other find the podcasts you enjoy.
You can also support us on Patreon, any support will go towards growing the podcast so we can reach more people, speak to more guests and generally make #ProudToBeKinky the best damn podcast it can be.